Advertisement -- Learn more about ads on this site.


    MARTHASPARKS   31,017
SparkPoints
30,000-39,999 SparkPoints
 
 
If You Don't Love Yourself Before, You Won't Love Yourself After

Thursday, June 28, 2012

I really love the new Spark People Healthy Inspiration section. I guess that I am one of those people who respond really well to motivational quotes and visual images and this section is full of them. I'm choosing one a week and making it my motivator for the week. From now on, I think I'll start adding it to my Spark page and sharing what it means and why it is important to me for the week.

While I was scrolling through the Healthy Inspirations, I ran in to the one that is the title of this blog - "If you don't love yourself before, you won't love yourself after." I take exception to this quote and I think it is demotivating for many, many Spark people.

Since I have been on Spark, I have shared with you some of the horrors of my past: childhood abuse and neglect, the loss of my childhood to a parent's alcoholism, rape and my subsequent path to a happy, long term marriage of 37 years, our raising of a lovely, giving, successful only child, financial security. I shared that psychotherapy and faith helped me find my way out of the darkness. In sharing this, I have heard from more Spark members with similar stories than I can count.

There are Spark people with darker stories than mine, stories of adults who struggle every day with the horrors perpetuated against them by parents, lovers, spouses, even their own children, Spark People who have no self esteem, no reason to believe, and little energy to continue. These people didn't seem to have any reason to believe that they would ever be successful. Most of them are hiding in grossly fat bodies because they believe that they are safe there - safe if they are fat, undesirable, ugly. They are hiding is fat bodies because they don't believe that they deserve to look good, that they can never look good, feel good, be healthy or reach their goal. They stay on Spark because on Spark, they can still see a glimmer of hope. On Spark, they have a community that encourages them to try, that tells them that they do deserve it and that they can have it. They see people like themselves who do make it, using the tools that Spark offers to all of us for free.

The Healthy Inspiration quote that "If you don't love yourself before, you won't love yourself after" wasn't wrong, it was just incomplete. I want you to believe in yourself, as I believe in myself. I want you to succeed, not just at losing weight and gaining health but at something much, much more important. I want you to succeed at learning to love yourself, value yourself, believe in yourself. Here's the new inspirational quote - the right quote to help you on your journey.

If you don't love yourself before, YOU CAN LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF DURING THE JOURNEY, and you WILL love yourself after. We're all here to help.
SHARE
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AKIMBERLYQ1 6/19/2014 8:48AM

    This is what I nee emoticon ded to hear. Thanks this is beatiful

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRY2KEEPGOING 8/5/2012 10:00PM

    Martha,
I truly admire your courage and strength. I have not suffered at the hands of another and can only imagine how horrific that must be. I have to agree what you posted about the quote. Bless you for being such a positive role model for all of us!
Kathy

Report Inappropriate Comment
JAE_HENNINGTON 7/22/2012 12:34PM

  ok,I must have had one of those moments with fibro fog when I first read this the first time and commented cause honestly I don't remember reading it what I do know now from reading is why I have felt this connection with you for awhile now. not only with us both having fibro. I was abused and abandoned in childhood and still at 62 it stills as much now as it did then. I have been to many counselors through the years who have tried to guide me through the process of of weakening the pain of a childhood lost. I want to live a better life, I want to be happy, and be a positive person that sees the good in things. I am tired of carrying the baggage around.. I thank you for being so open with us and allowing us to know we are all connected in some way or another merely by being human
I thank you for being my friend

Report Inappropriate Comment
BGRN13 7/22/2012 12:08PM

    I am new to your blogs, but I'm glad I read this one first! Many of us haven't loved ourselves much over the years for various reasons. I agree that SP is helping some of us overcome some of our issues and move on to a healthier lifestyle. Thanks for your great blog! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JAE_HENNINGTON 7/21/2012 9:19AM

  Thank you for your kind words and your hard work, I don't know everything you go through but that I do know of, I know it isn't always easy to face another day..

Report Inappropriate Comment
BISCO_ 7/5/2012 12:59AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KASEYCOFF 7/2/2012 3:19PM

    I totally agree, Martha - great message!
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SA9CHI 7/1/2012 12:39PM

    You are truly inspirational! thank you for taking the time to write this. You've overcome a lot of obstacles, didn't know about your past but am grateful for your openess. It gives me hope for a brighter future if I'm willing to work at it.

Report Inappropriate Comment
EVLOBOS310 6/30/2012 7:12AM

    Very well put, thank you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARVEEME 6/30/2012 7:01AM

    Well said, my dear friend. Every journey is different. Everyone has their own time frame for accomplishing these important milestones, and while some are immediately fired up and quickly successful in reaching initial goals, others take more time or energy, are learning at different paces, and have a plethora of real and imaginary roadblocks that hamper their perceived success rate.

IMHO........if you're reading this, YOU'RE ALREADY A WINNER, by FAR!

We all have our own motivators, we just need to identify them and remember to use them regularly to get the results we want. Every day is a gift and an adventure, so go get 'em, tiger!


Report Inappropriate Comment
KAYTIE22 6/29/2012 11:16PM

    This was so good Martha. Thank you so much. We are really blessed that you came to us through SparkPeople. And thank you for reminding me about the Health Inspiration section. I should look at it more often.

Report Inappropriate Comment
FRAN0426 6/29/2012 2:25PM

    Fantastic blog Martha. Your responce to the quote surely makes it more meaningful and true for many.

Report Inappropriate Comment
1COUNTRY_GAL 6/28/2012 9:30PM

    Thank you Martha,your re wording of this made the Quote complete,so glad you did or I would have still been wondering what was wrong.You are such an awesome insightful dear sweet Spark friend and Member.Love this Quote now and you can take credit for this quote too! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Diana

Report Inappropriate Comment
POLYANNA2 6/28/2012 8:50PM

    When I saw the title of your blog flip by, it really grabbed my attention. My thought was, "This can't be right." I was relieved when I read your blog and how you have reworked the quote. You have amazing insight and amazing compassion. It was an honour to have read your wise words.
Thank you.
emoticon Carol

Report Inappropriate Comment
NATNOEL 6/28/2012 8:39PM

    Martha,
What a kind soul you are.
I am so glad there are people like you in this world.
God Bless You.

Report Inappropriate Comment
HAPPYSOUL91 6/28/2012 7:33PM

    wonderful thoughts

Report Inappropriate Comment
SEWINGMAMACDS 6/28/2012 6:38PM

    Great blog!

Report Inappropriate Comment
REACHING4HOME 6/28/2012 4:40PM

    I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE THIS BLOG! YOU COULDN'T BE MORE SPOT ON. THE QUOTE THEY GAVE WAS INCOMPLETE. YOURS IS FAR MORE ACCURATE. SO MANY OF US DON'T THINK WE SHOULD TAKE THE TIME FOR OURSELVES FIRST BECAUSE IT WILL MEAN TAKING TIME AWAY FROM SOMETHING OR SOMEONE ELSE. THAT'S HOW WE GOT HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE! IT IS HARD TO PUT YOURSELF FIRST BUT, UNTIL WE DO, PROGRESS WILL BE SLOW AND FLEETING. WHEN WE PUT OURSELVES FIRST, WE REALIZE THE WORLD REALLY DOESN'T STOP WITHOUT US. OH THERE ARE THOSE THAT WILL COMPLAIN PLENTY BUT WE WILL GO ON! CHANCES ARE, THE PROBLEMS WE MAY HAVE HAD GOING INTO THIS JOURNEY, WILL STILL BE THERE WHEN WE COME OUT. BUT WE, OURSELVES, WILL BE DIFFERENT AND MAY THEN LOOK AT THOSE PROBLEMS IN A DIFFERENT LIGHT. GREAT, GREAT BLOG!
ERIN

Report Inappropriate Comment
JAMER123 6/28/2012 3:28PM

    How beautiful and compassionate! We stand in hopes we can learn to love ourselves some day and work today to lose the fat we are hiding behind. You have learn to love yourself and have done a fantastic job at it.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANNAMARIE1958 6/28/2012 2:30PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TINAJANE76 6/28/2012 2:14PM

    Right on, Martha! I think many of us have skeletons in our closets that sometimes hold us back from being our best and hiding behind our weight is just one defense mechanism we use to allow ourselves to go unnoticed. Whatever our past or present issues are, we can all benefit from being kinder to ourselves. Being and staying heavy won't make our problems go away, it will just make us unhealthy!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BLUE42DOWN 6/28/2012 2:11PM

    I agree that the phrase is more than a bit over-simplified.

I think the idea it is trying to express is that we DO HAVE TO WORK ON IT along the way. Simply losing weight doesn't create self-love. Learning to love ourself does. Some people do get the idea that the only reason they are miserable in their life is their weight. If we don't ever start practicing self-love, weight loss alone won't magically make it happen.

Report Inappropriate Comment
GRANNYSUE9 6/28/2012 2:02PM

    Now that is the truth! Awesome blog from an awesome lady!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANATASHIKI 6/28/2012 1:45PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ZIGMATTIC 6/28/2012 12:56PM

    Awesome!!I think I've been in my fat body for a long time because of all my childhood trauma & I think I'm starting to love myself .

Report Inappropriate Comment

Add Your Comment to the Blog Post


Log in to post a comment.
 


Other Entries by MARTHASPARKS