Thursday, June 28, 2012
My pregnancy symptoms had eased up a bit last week, to the point that I thought the worst was over. Well, the universe saw fit to tell me otherwise this week, lol. Acid stomach, fatigue, inability to concentrate are all back in force. Tuesday was the third worst day I've had and I almost went home sick. (I'm glad I stuck it out, though, because a coworker brought in frozen yogurt that made both my belly and my soul feel better and the social time let me fill up the day without having to take time off.) I haven't been getting quite enough sleep - I can "only" seem to find time for 8 hours a night and a 90 minute nap in the afternoon, so I'm getting really worn down. Today is a so-so day and it's going to be a rough weekend because I'm having ingrown toenails removed from both big toes tomorrow. This surgery will be harder than the others because the doctor is going to cut them down to the root so that I never have to have surgery again. And because I'm pregnant I can't have the good painkillers or any anti-inflammatories. DH said we're going to treat this weekend as a dry run for bedrest (we're planning for the worst but hoping for the best, and bedrest is a very real possibility). He's going to set me up in a nest on either the couch or the bed, whichever I prefer, and not let me get up unnecessarily. He's in charge of cooking and I am forbidden to worry about household chores. Single ladies: he does have a younger brother!
So what does this have to do with attitude? I'm not letting any of this get me down. I take it moment by moment and do the best I can. Sometimes that means I'm running at full capacity, other times that means spending the afternoon looking at lolcats and waiting for 3 p.m. so I can go home. The way I look at it, the discomfort is inevitable. But the way I manage it and deal with it are completely up to me. I've gotten over my resistance to taking pills or using medication, at least the ones that I'm currently allowed to take, and am taking as sunny an outlook as I'm capable of at any given moment. I'm also treating myself as I can: this afternoon I have a prenatal massage after work and tomorrow I'm getting a fabulous Good Dog sundae at a local lunch spot before surgery. (Fudge brownie, mint chocolate chip ice cream, and hot fudge - split with DH to minimize the quantity.) I figure that self-pity and wallowing in my misery will only make me feel worse, not better. And why inflict that on myself?
My plan seems to be working based on the fact that I make it through the day without meltdowns or undue difficulties - and the kudos I'm receiving from those around me. About every other day DH tells me how beautifully I'm handling this as he tucks me into bed. Today alone two coworkers told me that they're impressed by my attitude. The woman told me that listening to what's going on with me makes her fear pregnancy and I told her not to because it's so worth it - and the cool factor of seeing the beans in sonograms and ultrasounds and the cool factor of the expanding belly far outweigh the discomfort. I'm not sure I convinced her, but I did get a gratifying look - "I'm not sure if you're crazy, but I admire you."
The guy I talked to is a retired Master Sergeant in the Army. He told me that he wishes his soldiers had always had an attitude as good as mine - I complain a lot less with a lot more real problems. High praise indeed!
Plus I'm at the tail end of the first trimester, and the light at the end of the tunnel gets brighter every day. I'm looking forward to being able to eat normally and have my old energy level - and brain power! - back. In the meantime, I'm counting on my positive attitude, Tylenol, and Zantac to get me through the days.