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    FEISTYSHAMROCK   1,716
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Can't help feeling helpless


Thursday, June 28, 2012

I cannot stand feeling powerless, it gives me anxiety not having control. Silly things like going to the grocery store gives me anxiety but having control over the grocery cart helps me cope cause I feel like it somehow protects me- I dunno it's just sketchy.

Unfortunately this need/urgency to control things rolls over into my friendships. Granted I have been known to take pity and befriend some crazy people because I always think that I can "help." When my brother and SIL started planning their wedding over 5 years ago my SIL asked me and one of her friends from high school to be her bridesmaids. I had never met the other bridesmaid, but we became quick friends.

A couple years ago I was changing careers and we became coworkers, unfortunately our friendship started to suffer because it was suddenly brought to my attention that she had serious addiction issues- food, alcohol and sex. I am a firm believer in keeping your personal life completely separate from your work/business life, but the events of the last few weeks have compromised this rule for me and for her. Things have finally come to a point where she has been given an ultimatum to commit to treatment or else she will no longer have a job to come back to. It completely crushes me that I cannot shake sense into her to see that it is just not her career on the line but also her life. I am so angry that nobody took me seriously over two years ago when I asked for help to help her, nobody would step forward to acknowledge that a young woman needed direction, guidance, love and strength of her family and friends.

It saddens me that I feel so helpless, but it also pisses me off that I care more than she does.
My thoughts and prayers go out to everyone who is trying to cope with a loved one suffering from an addiction.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHRINK_U 6/28/2012 9:50AM

    I have the same kind of need for control. Without it, I also have anxiety. I hope your friend gets the help she needs. emoticon

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GHOSTFLAMES 6/28/2012 4:11AM

    ONE DAY AND ONE STEP ATA TIME WE WILL DO THIS WE ARE WORTH IT.
REMEMBER TO TRACK DAILY YOUR FOOD AND FITNESS TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE.
WE ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU IF YOU NEED ANYTHING AT ALL JUST ASK.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT ARTICLES TO READ HERE ON SPARK THAT ARE A BIG HELP GO EXPLORE.
I AM STARTING OVER LOST 30 AND GAINED IT ALL BACK AND SO HARD THE SECOND TIME AROUND BUT I WILL NOT GIVE UP.
TAKE CARE AND GOOD LUCK ON YOUR SPARK JOURNEY.

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