Wednesday, June 27, 2012
As I surf around here each day to see what my fellow Sparkfriends are up to it got me to thinking about the words we live by, the words we use to define ourselves. A few words I see used quite a bit and have used to describe myself is "The Fat Girl". I hate those words. I hate that anyone uses them to describe themselves. Why can't we just be us? Why can't we define ourselves as just, Sandy (that's me). Why do we always focus on what we aren't? There are so many wonderful people in this community that are wonderful human beings, mothers, spouses, have successful careers, singers, actors, writers and the list goes on and on, but when it comes down to it, we live our lives trapped in a society that defines skinny as the key to happiness. If we can say, now we are the "Skinny Girl" then will all the other things we are or have now be better? I think we think so, but if we are a loved spouse and mother already, then how can being the "Skinny Girl" change that? Just being Sandy should be enough.
But then Sandy gets on the scale, another word I hate, and sees a number, another one of those words I have a love hate relationship with, and again, these two simple word can shake my resolve, make me sad or happy, determine my fit into society. Why is it that we live in a society where the number on our clothes is so important? In other words, why is being a size 8 so much better then being a size 20. I know in our hearts we don't believe that being a size 20 makes us any less of a person. It is just a number right?
That number that represents our weight, it is just a number, not who we are on the inside. That number on our clothes, it just the size we wear, not who are. These words, the words we live by, are hard to change. We get up each day with the greatest of intentions to change the number, to stop being the "Fat Girl" to make the scale our friends, but it does not always work. But because we live by these words we forget the more important ones, like courage, the courage to keep trying even when we don't want to, beauty, beauty outside and inside no matter what size we are, inspiring, healthy, intelligent, talented, loving. All the things we all are, no matter what size girl we are.
I got on the scale on Monday and I did not like the number I saw but for the first time I think ever, I did not let it destroy me, define me. I just let it be a number. Because that is all it is, a number. I can change it, I know how.
Whatever you chose as your words to live by, chose them so that you are good to yourself, that you remember all the things you are that are so much more then what a number represents. Continue on a path to being healthy, because that is a good thing but I don't see any "Fat Girls" here, and I hope none of the rest of you will anymore either!!