Wednesday, June 27, 2012
This blog may be a little bit of a rant, but it's been weighing on my mind lately, so here goes...
I have a Spark 'friend' who has lost an incredible amount of weight in the past few months. I'm happy for her. Really, I am, so it's not jealousy or envy or anything like that. But when she blogs or updates, it's all about her phenomenal success and she seems to throw in little 'digs' at others. She's too determined to cheat. She refuses to miss a workout. She only drinks water. This, that and the other. I'm sure she doesn't mean to come across this way (and maybe it's just me). I'm glad she's uber proud of her accomplishment. She should be.
While, yes, I'm pleased that she's so motivated, I can't help what wonder how she's going to handle it when she has her first setback. When she has her first week with less than her average weight loss. When she doesn't lose at all. When she gains...
Can this be emotionally healthy? Or is she setting herself up for huge disappointment?
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't misinterpret my intentions with this blog. Don't think I'm calling this friend out or trying to make her feel bad. This isn't even really directed at her specifically. It is moreso to those of us who think we have to be perfect in this journey. I'm just wondering, if someone who keeps themselves in this fishbowl, where everything is planned down to the last morsel...when they're freed into the ocean, will they thrive? Will they survive?
I mean, while I'm not pleased that I've binged, I'm glad it happened because I know I can overcome. I don't believe in banning foods. I believe in being responsible and controlling portions. Learn your body. Learn your habits. Trust me, I know all about food triggers, which is why I won't let myself have pizza...yet. Eventually, I will have pizza again. And I will enjoy it responsibly. Listen to yourself. Our bodies, our cravings, our tendencies are all different.
I don't workout every day. My body needs time to adjust, rest and occasionally be rewarded for working its booty off. Some days I just want to sit. I find that when I do, I'm reenergized to workout again. My body needs time to recharge.
I worry that a diet based around pre-packages meals (while delicious), isn't the greatest option. Sodium levels are through the roof on those. My body feels so much better having fresh fruits and veggies with meat that I have prepared. I do drink mainly water, but I love milk. I usually don't drink soda, but I smile huge if I let myself have a Pibb Extra. For real.
I've had my 'gained 5 pounds in one week' moments. Yes, momentS, with an S. I've found myself walking to the fridge and coming back with much more food than I should eat in a 4 day span. I've tweaked my knee and shoulder at different times so I couldn't work out. I've not worked out because it was too hot outside. I've not worked out just because.
I also don't think there's a problem with eating out. There are healthy options on most menus if you look for them. You can make special requests. Automatically box up half your meal as soon as it comes out of the kitchen. Ask for dressing on the side. Skip the appetizer. Have one soda or alcoholic beverage, but have a glass of water and keep re-filling it.
I am not going to let my journey keep me from enjoying time with friends and family. Let's face it: families associate food with love. I'm going to enjoy a slice of cake at that wedding. I'm not going to a restaurant with friends and saying, "Just water for me, please." If I keep saying, "No. No. NO!" pretty soon, it'll be, "Yes. Yes. YES!" and I'm going to weigh 265 again.
Moderation. Acceptance. Perseverance.
Some people may think, "Shelby, you've lost all this weight. It's so easy for you to say this. Blah blah blah. And blah some more."
Truth: Yes, I have lost a decent chunk of me. 46 pounds this year. 20% of my starting weight on 1/2/12.
Truth: Yes, I can run a 5k.
Truth: Yes, I may be ahead of some of you in this journey.
Truth: Yes, I am talking the talk and walking the walk.
Truth: I kicked my ass for months. I've cried. I've laughed. I've cheered. I've fallen down more times than I can count. I've relied on my SparkFamily to keep me going.
Truth: My 3.6 mile jogging hikes started out as 1.2 mile walking, huffing, puffing, thinking I couldn't go on and wanting to stop after half of it torturous hikes. (Please know that it took a year for this transition.)
Truth: My 33 minute 5k run started out as a 60+ minute walk.
Truth: I may be further along, but I am no better than you. It was no easier for me than it will be for you.
Truth: You can have this success. You just need to find what works for YOU.
You need to be able to let things roll off your back. One binge can't derail you. Missing a workout shouldn't send your world crashing down. If you're sick, rest. Your sneakers will be waiting patiently for your triumphant return to their cozy insoles, tongues wagging (haha, see what I did there?)
And now you're thinking, 'Shelby, shut up already'. Well, no! LoL. I'm here and I'm here for good. Use me. I don't have all the answers, but I'll be your comic relief, your shoulder to cry on, your text buddy. Hell, I'll even virtually slap that donut out of your hand. Unless it's a maple bar. In that case, I'll just snatch it from you :)
I feel better. Rant over.