Chap 3- Part 2- Turning pain into power!
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
You can love food and know it's always going to be apart of your life. We have to eat to live and if we never allow ourselves to have something that tastes good, we're going to feel deprived and prob end up binging and gaining again! Learn to embrace food! enjoy it. Keep it in single size portions! Moderation is the key!
When you realize you are off track, or on the way off, GET BACK ON! Don't let one misstep lead to another. If you "blow it" pick yourself up and start where you are. The more you practice living and eating in Moderation, the better at it you will get and the lesss you will constantly think about it.
Cope w/regrets: There is nothing you can do to change your past! But.. there is lots you can do to change your life today and days to come. Acceptance is the Key! Accept the things you did or didn't do. Train yourself to turn your mind away from regrets and toward possibilitys. When you start to obsess about regrets, imagine yourself turning a page in a book, the next page is today! Look around and notice all the choices you have today! Switch focus from Neg to Positive. Think of new and exciting ways to change your life. This is not an overnight process, it takes practice. The important thing is identifying and recognising the neg thoughts and willing yourself to replace them w/something more realistic and positive. Sometimes you will only have a few moments this works, that's normal! Don't get discouraged or give up, if you don't feel different immed. it takes time to shed the pounds, just as it takes time to shed old neg ways of thinking.
"When you can't think positively, Distract Yourself!" When you can't turn your mind toward positive thoughts, distract yourself by doing things that force you to concentrate. (read, file papers, organize something , etc) Find ways to occupy your mind so that you can't simutaniously be thinking about neg things or fretting about things beyond your control. Turn your attn from things you can't control to things that you can!
Accept the things you cannot change! There will be things you feel you should be able to change that you can't, and things you feel you have to live with that you actually can change. Make peace with the things you honestly can't change, If you continue to harbor regret, and disappointment you can lose sight of all the positive changes made already and can make to improve your life now.
* Make a list of things "I want to Change" Improve. and another list of things "I want to learn to accept" You cannot change everything at once. Pick 2 (highest priority) of the changes you want to make, and work on those! You will notice the items on your lists will change as you grow.
Common "Learn to Accepts" are # of yrs lost, toll being heavy took on your body, things you didn't do because you were heavy, etc. Every minute you dwell on what you think you've lost is another minute lost from your life.
Sometimes relationships can't survive the changes you have made, Whenever people make progress, they also experience loss, and it can come in diff forms. Moving forward means leaving certain behaviors behind, You can't hold onto the past and grab the future at the same time. You sometimes have to say good bye to relationships or old behaviors. Just remember when one door closes another one opens up.
Renewing Good relationships and recreating not so good ones:
Most people will be happy to be in your life or back into it. Sometimes we have to keep others in our life who we would rather not have there, Those people I call Good enemies: a teacher who is helping you to increase power/strength and commitment. A good enemy can give us a chance to learn to accpt and be more compassionate w/people we don't like!
Here are 12 paths to Empowerment:
1. clairify what is most important to "you"!
2. Exchange fantasy for Possibility! (make sure you want what is truly possible)
3. Be responsible for your own happiness! stop waiting for others to entertain you, approve of you, rescue you, fall in love with you, etc. Learn to make your own happiness so your not reliant on what other people chose to do or not.
4. Quit playing the Blame game! Blame never leads to a win!
5. Laugh! If you are serious all the time you will always feel heavy.
6. Appreciate the beauty that surrounds you! Bring more beauty into your life.
7. Stay Connected! Spend more time w/people you love. When tempted to isolate reach out instead.
8. Be Active! Move your body! dance, sing, swim, yoga, garden, etc...
9. BE proactive about your emotional needs! Be honest about struggles and plan how you are gonna win them over.
10. Know that your opinion of yourself matters most! If someone asks you "do you want to know what I think?" you can always say "no thank you"
11. Give therapy a fair chance! It really helps some feel happier.
12. Be Gentle w/yourself! Practice treating yourself like a charished friend w/your thoughts and actions. Focus on what you like about yourself.
Getting Naked: People who lose wt have a tendancy to see their bodies differently than how they really look. Most look in the mirror and say horrible things to themselve they would never say to their worst ememies. Stop it!
Body image is based on how our body looks -And- how it works! Try really hard to seperate how your body looks from how it works, concentrate on "how it works" because doing that will build more confidence. By using your body and having physical enjoyable experiences you can improve how you feel and how you look. It's an important step toward increasing your own comfort level.
*Look in a mirror and think of the person you are looking at as a good friend. (someone you want to be kind to, say nice things to and about) do this for 10-15 min a day. Train yourself to be less judgemental of yourself. This will help you release endorphins and improve your self esteem. The more you use your body the better you will feel about yourself. The better you will feel w/others. When you start to feel sexy, You are Sexy! It's about how you feel and how your partner feels that about how either of you look.
Crank up the sexual joy meter! One of the things about growing emotionally and increasing your self esteem is that you start to believe that you deserve to have your own needs met, knowing you deserve to feel good is a crucial part of really enjoying being with your partner, Explore what feels good! Create the sexual connection you crave.
Top 10 "reasons" to turn emotional pain into Power.
1.Because you deserve it!
2. Letting go of anger can feel like the best thing you have ever experienced!
3. It will set you free!
4. Emotional suffering consumes to much time and energy!
5. You emotional well being is directly connected to your ability keep wt off!
6. More Energy!
7. Allows you to embrace the present and future!
8. Being a good example of positive lifestyle will help those around you!
9. Holding onto pain leads to wt gain!
10. Power = Choice!
Please print for future use! Hope y0u all are getting as much out of this series of notes as I am! I've lost 9 pds since i started this series. It can be done!