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    ASTALANYA   17,765
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Tuesday, June 26, 2012

"Wonderful" surprise this morning. My loosest jeans are tight... again.

I set out in March to try to lose fifteen pounds by September. Easy, right? Yeah, as if. I threw in regular biking at the gym, reintroduced strength exercises, went to the aqua-fit aerobic classes.

Nothing changed except being hungry. I drank more water, ate more fruit and vegetables, tried to cut down on snacking or mindlessly grazing in the evening. I have a bad habit of that if unchecked. The beau does it.

Tossing crap food from the house only works so well when the roommate brings it in. We eat out more than perhaps we ought because we feel confined, entrapped by the roommate we should be tossingo ut but he's stalling on, and all of this is a stupid, painful spiral.

Self-love today is absolutely impossible. I see myself in the mirror and the cascade of hate, disappointment, anger, rage, despair, and fury is a blackness that has so far refused to dissipate. I acknowledge its existence in hopes it will go away, and it doesn't.

Why. has. nothing. worked?

Because, apparently, *I* don't work.

Goddamnit.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEGOCHU 6/27/2012 1:01AM

    I know exactly how you feel! I'm up 10 pounds from the lightest I was last year.. and I'm still a good 25 pounds away from my ideal weight. I've been working out regularly, just like you, and have found that the scale isn't budging much for me either. It's incredibly frustrating, but you can't give up! I'd suggest trying something new! Maybe the aqua-fit classes just aren't enough for you, might need to try something that's a little more intense. Have you tried some HIIT training? Maybe take some new classes?

As for that pesky roommate, if they're a detrimental part of your life, you need to get rid of them! If they can't respect you and your new lifestyle, you should find someone that will!

Just keep pushing forward, try to stay positive and never give up, 'cause you will be able to do this. It's never as fast or as easy as we'd like, but if we give up we'll never be where we want to be.

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RHEYNKLAW 6/26/2012 11:16AM

    I wish I could talk you out of this funk, but I know you have to do it for yourself.

Join PF by me and we can work out together.

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FLEURGARDEN 6/26/2012 11:15AM

    I understand your frustration, but don't give up! You *are* worth it, and you *do* work! Sometimes our bodies are even more stubborn than we are and it takes time to see the results. And it's so hard when you see all those posts from people losing weight and doing the happy dance when you're stuck. I've been stuck on a plateau for a month now, so I know how tempting it is to give up and quit, but if I quit I'll never have the thrill of succeeding.

You are making healthy changes to your lifestyle and your body is chaning on the inside, even if you can't see that on the outside. But you are beautiful inside and out, and don't you forget it!

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SHIMMYSHAKER 6/26/2012 11:10AM

    Sending many hugs and good thoughts your way, m'dear!!!! I am sorry that you're frustrated - which is understandable, because you feel that you're doing your best!

You can always drop me a PM if you'd like to chat, I'm definitely here to listen!!!

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