Monday, June 25, 2012
I was thinking about the things in my life that I have not given up on, that I have persevered, that I have stuck with for more than 6 months. I decided to make a list.
) My marriage. We have been together for 17 years this July. While at times I wish I could redesign his food palate and his taste in movies, I love that I am his best friend and he is mine. I sometimes dream of a life of a single person, but now that in reality, I am gratefully yoked.
2) parenting. Some length of commitment. Not being there parent is not an option, even during the teenage years.
3) Christianity. My faith has been apart of me since my early childhood. ( I remember going to church when I was three.)
4). My profession. The turnover rate for public child welfare workers is about 3 years. 17 and counting. I am planning on retiring from state service.
I know that I am capable of long term commitment. Why don't I make that commitment to myself? I have invested so much into my job ( 40 hours a week, plus grad school, weekends, and the stress level) Why don't I invest that much into my health goals? Why is is easier for me to parent three teenagers than say no to a brownie? why is healthy living an optional thing, where being married, as a working mom is not? In same areas, it all come sdown to free will. I choose to remain married, where a good portion of my co-workers are in marital distress. I choose to have children. I made choices in my career. and I am learning, I have made choices in my health. Like trying every diet trick, fad diet and commercial plan. Those choices lead me to a dysfunctional relationship with food, like ignoring my diabetes for ten years which lead me to insulin and daily shots. BUT I CAN MAKE BETTER ONES.
I think of the new habits; carrying around my green water cup, drinking always, like packing my bag and taking my shoes with me to work, in case I can go for a work, like parking in Outer Mongolia to increase my steps., all of those are choices that I make everyday, habit or not, it's still a choice. In the end, I choose me, I choose health, I choose activity. I am in these Spark journey for the long haul.