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I Forgot How Big I really WAS... (w/PICS)

Sunday, June 24, 2012

I was flipping through some photo albums today and I was shocked to see how big I was in some of the photos. I had forgotten...

You see when your weight goes up and down, you forget when you were huge and when you started losing... AGAIN. Well, I had been focusing on this CURRENT jourmey and I had THOUGHT that I was my heaviest back in November 2009 when i weighed in at 192 lbs. This is me then...

I WAS big... BUT I was wearing a size 14 suit at that time... So, that WASN'T the heaviest that I've EVER been.... There was a time when i wore a size 16 suit and skirt....

Those pictures were taken between Christmas 2002 - Spring 2003. I remember feeling so unhappy with my body at that time. I had such low self-esteem. I had never been a size 16 in my life and to see those numbers was so damaging. It was so damaging that I refused to purchase anything and I just kept trying to squeeze into my clothes that I had in my closet, which, of course, made me feel worse. Thank God for my wonderful mother bought me some clothes so that I could feel halfway decent about myself. But, that was my first real wake-up call. I remember making a decision and it was SET. I was going on South Beach Diet. By late Summer 2003 I had dropped all the pounds... and I kept it off for a good while...

In October 2003...

In 2004...

In 2006...

I don't have any pictures, but I was still small in 2007. So, I kept that weight off for close to 5 years. I started gaining weight again in 2008 through 2009 and that's when my second wake up call occurred.

I am seeing the skinny Vanessa again... She is slowly emerging. She wants to be totally free.... and she will be. This new Vanessa will keep the weight off longer than the 5 years that the old Vanessa kept them off because this new Vanessa has lost these pounds in a very SLOW, traditional way... diet and exercise. No quick fixes this time. No fad diets. This is the THIRD (and hopefully final) year of my journey to goal. This new Vanessa has learned some hard lessons during these last three years and I'm still learning... and when the new Vanessa FULLY emerges, she'll have even more lessons to learn about how to maintain that weight... But she's ready. She's ready.

I'm ready to be back in that purple size 8 suit than I wore in one of the above pictures from 2004... I actually wore that suit ONE time and couldn't fit it again after. I gave it away to my sister; but she has recently given it back to me. She THINKS I can wear it now. I know better. But I will be able to. I'm determined. For now, I have to settle for being in a size 8 dress! emoticon

I'm coming down... slowly but definitely surely...

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
READY4CHANGE81 8/2/2012 8:21PM

    wow, they say a picture is worth 1,000 true! thank you for the inspiring blog! :)

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STSCOTT11 8/2/2012 2:28PM

    Aren't timelines GREAT...when your on the right side of things? Looking back can be so inspiring.
From the photos, you actually carried the weight very well.

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SWEETLIPS 7/27/2012 9:49AM

    Excellent synposis of your journey. Congratulations

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CHANGING4ME49 7/27/2012 6:02AM

    LOVE this blog, and I have to say you are beautiful in each and every one of the photos. And yes, slow and steady is the way to go. You will be glad you did it this way. You are doing fantastic my friend. Keep up the good work. emoticon

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TIFFY0906 7/5/2012 10:38AM

    Wow - all of your pics are beautiful but you see the confidence in you in your later pics as you lost the weight. Congrats on your progress so far this is truly emoticon . Keep up the good work

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BEACH_BABYDOLL 7/3/2012 5:44PM

    Heavier, smaller, or pregnant weight -- I love My Bestie no matter what size she is!

Keep up the good work and consistency!

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NEWATTITUDE2010 7/3/2012 8:10AM

  Wow! What a testimony! I admire your bravery and your willingness to share! God Bless You!

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KTTAYLOR21 7/1/2012 11:31AM

    Wow pictures tell the whole story. emoticon on your progress!!

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CELLO23 6/25/2012 5:29PM

    To be honest, you look lovely on all the pictures! But the new ones are fab. When you look back, can you work out the behaviours that knocked you off track last time, so that you're wise to them in future? I'm reasonably consistent, but not consistent enough - I wish I didn't have to be so rock hard to stay even. Your fierce challenges are so inspiring - you will do this! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 6/25/2012 1:33PM


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KANSASROSE67 6/25/2012 12:25PM

    Your blog was great...and I have to say you are beautiful at every stage! What a great smile you have!

Best wishes as you continue your healthy journey.


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PINKBEANBOO 6/25/2012 9:49AM

    I love your new picture. You look fab!
Congrats on your success. emoticon

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IBSHAUN 6/25/2012 9:35AM

    Pictures have a funny way of reminding us don't they? Sounds like you are doing great - way to go! Keep it up and soon the purple suit will be perfect!

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JAMIELOGICAL 6/25/2012 9:24AM

    It's interesting to see the ups and downs of your journey and you are definitely on the right track now!

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KRISZTA11 6/25/2012 3:17AM

    Thanks for sharing your pictures!
They are proof that age doesn't matter that much at all.
You look so fit and young on your recent picture...
emoticon emoticon

I used to think there is no way I will ever look good again, i'm just to old for that, and now I feel just as good about myself as I felt 20 years ago, before my pregnancies.

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LIGHTHOUSEGIRL1 6/25/2012 1:30AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon Have a great week !!

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ERLYWA 6/24/2012 11:09PM


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ABETTERSOUL 6/24/2012 10:27PM

    emoticon You are looking great!!!!

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MICHSTATE 6/24/2012 9:12PM

    You can do it!!!! Thanks for sharing!!!:-)

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MYSTERY-LADY1 6/24/2012 7:55PM


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