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Adult Children

Friday, June 22, 2012

I know most of us have them and I know we've all had our issues with them. I just need to blow off a little and relieve some stress, so you my dear friends get the benefit of a 33 yo who is acting 12.
We try to help our children and grandchildren in any way we can, but sometimes you just have to say enough. I believe I have come to that point.
I can't take coming home at night and finding a sink full of dishes. I don't claim to be the neatest housekeeper in the world, in fact I detest housework, but I don't have a dirty house either and coming home every single night to dirty dishes, when I have washed everything the night before and for that matter the morning before I leave is just more than I can stand. Then when I ask for them to get done I get looked at like I'm nuts or worse ignored.
In case you can't tell things are not going well with DD and the GKs being at the house and sadly it is DD not the kids that I'm having issues with.
Fortunately I will have a week of peace to try and compose myself enough to stand the confrontation I know will happen when they return. Or maybe not, I wasn't very pleasant in a note that I left this morning and she didn't bother to do most of the things I had left on it or to even let us know that they were leaving.
All I can say now is I know that I have tried in every way I can to help her and I have to let it go at that.

I'm in a bit of a quandary though, she left all of her dogs here and I told her that if she wanted me to take care of them while they were gone that she HAD to come and TALK to me and ask me. That didn't happen. I can't just let them stay out there and starve and she knows it, but I have to do something to make my point. Any suggestions?

OK, I've blown off some steam and hopefully that will help me to let this issue go. I love that I can come here and just say what I need and know that I won't be blasted or judged.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Jacque, Oh my, I have been there and done that. Very hard to go through! I don't know how long they have been staying with you but you need to set up some basic ground rules on paper. As far as the dogs are concerned. If you are not wanting to take care of them and she leaves them anyhow after being told no, I would take them to a dog pound, or less they put them away in your state. (that would be to cruel) That is what I think I would do, harder to do it than say it. But I think it is called tough love. And I would tell her before hand that is what you will do if she leaves them.

    It is a safe place to blow off steam here. I did it yesterday, LOL

    2064 days ago
    Oh dear, some times our adult kids act more childish than their kids do. I am hoping your time apart get both of you to cool down. Then I would approach her and have a nice talk with you, her and Robby. Give her a time frame of how long she can continue to live with you and what you can and can not tolerate. I wouldn't approach her in anger as that only makes her lash out in anger as well. I think Robby will help support you and act as a referee if things start to escalate in to a fight. Good luck because I know how much you do for her and the kids and she needs to step up and act like the adult she is and give you the respect you deserve.

    2064 days ago
    So sorry, Jacque. You do so much for others; I know this has to be so frustrating for you. I hope your getting out today helped.
    2065 days ago
    I don't have any at home, but I still have issues with grown kids. Sorry!
    2066 days ago
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