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    DETERMINEDDOLLY   2,385
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Have You Seen Me?


Friday, June 22, 2012

I went for a walk in the park this afternoon (and it was hot as you-know-what by the way). Walking is not only a great exercise, but also a good time to think and reflect. And so I did today. I walked about one and a half miles very slowly but determined. As I lumbered along, I thought about how 20 years ago I would have covered the same distance in half the time. I had no knee issues then and barely broke a sweat. I couldn't help but think 'where did I lose myself.' How had I become over 100 pounds heavier. I don't know how it happened, just a steady gaining of pounds year after year it seems. When I returned home, I couldn't help pulling out some old photo albums (big mistake probably). But there I was, this wide-eyed and thin high school girl full of life and energy and innocence. Where did I lose myself was all I could think about. I bemused that maybe a picture of my former self should be on a milk carton with the caption: "Have you seen this woman?" So I managed a little chuckle through the sadness.

Okay, so I allowed myself those few moments of sadness, but I am a practical gal who is not disconnected from reality (most days). All living things age. Even the trees and flowers I walked by in the park grow from day to day and year to year. It's the process of life. So though I don't expect to look like a 20-year old again, I would like to have some of that stamina and energy. I used to play sports like softball, tennis, basketball and bowling. But I have given up all those things due to my obesity. And I am obese because I have given up all those things. Catch-22, yes, but nonetheless, the answer to where did I lose myself is: 'Nowhere'. I've just grown, literally and figuratively and now I'm striving to be the best me I can be. Even if she is not the perky girl of 20, she is still pretty darn special.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KURS10B 6/22/2012 7:35PM

  You may find that girl yet. I do more at 40 than I did at 20. Loosing the weight helps. Heck, just getting up and doing something helps. Keep moving!

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MSMOSTIMPROVED 6/22/2012 5:56PM

    We'll find the new and improved version! Slow and steady wins the race.
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Congratulations on getting your walk done.

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MENNOLY 6/22/2012 5:53PM

    You may not find that girl but you can discover a new and healthier one! Keep walking and watch your food intake as you lose weight you will get more energy and you may find a you that you never thought could exist. I know I did.
Last August I wrote this blog

http://www.sparkpeople.
com/mypage_public_journal_indiv
idual.asp?blog_id=4446242
I weighed 220 pounds then. I was exercising but not enjoying it. Walking a 16 minute mile was the most I would hope for. Today I can walk/run a 5k in under 43 minutes. I feel a lot better and I weigh 54 pounds less. It is work and requires dedication but I did it and you can too. emoticon

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