Have You Seen Me?

Friday, June 22, 2012

I went for a walk in the park this afternoon (and it was hot as you-know-what by the way). Walking is not only a great exercise, but also a good time to think and reflect. And so I did today. I walked about one and a half miles very slowly but determined. As I lumbered along, I thought about how 20 years ago I would have covered the same distance in half the time. I had no knee issues then and barely broke a sweat. I couldn't help but think 'where did I lose myself.' How had I become over 100 pounds heavier. I don't know how it happened, just a steady gaining of pounds year after year it seems. When I returned home, I couldn't help pulling out some old photo albums (big mistake probably). But there I was, this wide-eyed and thin high school girl full of life and energy and innocence. Where did I lose myself was all I could think about. I bemused that maybe a picture of my former self should be on a milk carton with the caption: "Have you seen this woman?" So I managed a little chuckle through the sadness.

Okay, so I allowed myself those few moments of sadness, but I am a practical gal who is not disconnected from reality (most days). All living things age. Even the trees and flowers I walked by in the park grow from day to day and year to year. It's the process of life. So though I don't expect to look like a 20-year old again, I would like to have some of that stamina and energy. I used to play sports like softball, tennis, basketball and bowling. But I have given up all those things due to my obesity. And I am obese because I have given up all those things. Catch-22, yes, but nonetheless, the answer to where did I lose myself is: 'Nowhere'. I've just grown, literally and figuratively and now I'm striving to be the best me I can be. Even if she is not the perky girl of 20, she is still pretty darn special.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • KURS10B
    You may find that girl yet. I do more at 40 than I did at 20. Loosing the weight helps. Heck, just getting up and doing something helps. Keep moving!
    2101 days ago
    We'll find the new and improved version! Slow and steady wins the race.

    Congratulations on getting your walk done.
    2101 days ago
    You may not find that girl but you can discover a new and healthier one! Keep walking and watch your food intake as you lose weight you will get more energy and you may find a you that you never thought could exist. I know I did.
    Last August I wrote this blog

    I weighed 220 pounds then. I was exercising but not enjoying it. Walking a 16 minute mile was the most I would hope for. Today I can walk/run a 5k in under 43 minutes. I feel a lot better and I weigh 54 pounds less. It is work and requires dedication but I did it and you can too. emoticon
    2101 days ago
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