Thursday, June 21, 2012
I thought it was the lack of coffee yesterday. I get like that once in awhile. A little blue, a little out of sorts. Nothing major, nothing bad...just "off" ya know?
I was like that the last few days wandering around lost in my own thoughts and I tell my Kate "you know what bugs me? When you give 90% and text and Facebook and call and the moment you stop, no one ever acknowledges your existence." She agreed and we talked about how by moving here we seemed to have lost our inner circle status.
See, for a bit when we lived in Washington, we had what so many people dreamed of. I had people coming and going at my house at all hours like they were family, because they WERE. My friends knew more about my kids then my my own relatives. People would come through the door "honey I'm home" and I'd offer them a drink...coffee brewing, conversations flowing, and cards every Friday no matter what. It was what you saw on sitcoms and wished for. We had it.
Because times change, Zach moved to Southern Cali, Travis moved home to San Antonio, then Kim met her superman :o) and moved to the East Coast, then Daniel followed his brother and soon after we moved to California before Bonnie hit Spokane. I joke with them sometimes how the universe just couldn't handle all of us in one state and moved us across the nation.
And although I have family in California, it's not the same. They are all over an hour away and frankly, hubby's not into "visiting" family. Especially in Stockton (it IS scary, but I figure it's mostly my family so it's okay LOL **I have over 108 cousins alone**)
So, anyway....I was kind of upset because one of my friends never responds anymore unless I text her repeatedly or she's bored or something, I don't know. Always "too busy" with the boyfriend and ... well, how can people just be too busy to take 30 seconds out of their day? How? I try and take the time to say "hello" on Spark and I don't even KNOW you !! LOL so, we were talking how if I left Facebook and I quit texting.....how many would reply back? and most importantly, what did I do to piss all these people off? What was WRONG with me??
About that time I received a text
"...Had a potluck today...I had small amounts of food and was stuffed...."
I didn't say I was looking for anything mushy, silly! LOL but it was a voice, a voice reaching out to ME when I needed it the most. And she didn't even know it.
I told her, "you made my day and didn't even know it" You know why? Because. Because she took 10 seconds of her whole day to tell me about hers. To say "hey, I haven't forgotten you even though we are 100s of miles apart" She responded later that night with her Dad's death....then I felt stupid. Because all this time I had been waiting for words, and now I couldn't be there with HER. To share in her grief.
I people watch at the malls and at various places I am at and I wonder. How is it that we can all share the same planet and none of us dare to look at each other in the eyes? Is it the fears of the few creepers that keep us from establishing new villages of friendships?
Everyday I look on my Spark and I wonder about all of you. I read your blogs and mark your comments. I wonder if you are as lonely as I can be or if there is a support system around you. I live vicariously though all of you. It's so strange that we live in a world of social networking and yet, we can all feel so alone.
I think of my friend and wish I could be with her again. I wish I could lend a shoulder from across the 48 states and let her know, not just through text, how much I love and miss her. I wish her husband, her, my husband and I could be sitting around playing cards while the girls are off doing their own social networking. We would laugh real loud about the Seahawks and plan our gym trip for the next morning....maybe the boys would discuss golf.
If you have a friend out there.....take a minute right now and let them know. Take ten freaking seconds a day and say "hey, I'm thinking of you" It could mean the world to them.
I know it did me.
And yes, as of date....she is still the only one who has managed an acknowledgement.
I love her so much for that.