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    MRS_ROSS   17,832
15,000-19,999 SparkPoints

All of Me

Thursday, June 21, 2012

While I'm not focusing on losing weight (or even maintaining my weight) right now, I am still trying to find balance in my diet. My doctor wants me to eat around 2,400 calories a day and gain around 35 pounds during my pregnancy. I have been trying my hardest to eat that much food (its a lot!) while still making healthy choices. I've added more cheese to my diet along with whole grain foods that are higher in calories. I eat yogurt daily and have also started making fruit and veggie smoothies. I have already gained 10 pounds.......... at 14 weeks but I am hoping in the end I can control my weight gain and focus on eating for a healthy baby!

Before we got pregnant, I was very worried about if my heart could handle loving another baby, knowing that in every pregnancy there is a chance of loss. I was worried I would distance my heart from our new baby to try to protect myself in some way. I didn't want to ever feel the anguish of losing another child. Ever. Once you experience the loss of a pregnancy you no longer have the innocence and blissfulness of other pregnant women. But I didn't want that to stop me from the intimate and precious bond women experience with their unborn children. I heard the song All of Me by Matt Hammitt a few months before we found out we were pregnant. Here are the lyrics:

Afraid to love
Something that could break
Could I move on
If you were torn away?
And I'm so close to what I can't control
I can't give you half my heart
And pray He makes you whole

You're gonna have all of me
You're gonna have all of me
'Cause you're worth every falling tear
You're worth facing any fear
You're gonna know all my love
Even if it's not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts
But giving you all of me is where I'll start

I won't let sadness steal you from my arms
I won't let pain keep you from my heart
I'll trade the fear of all that I could lose
For every moment I share with you


Heaven brought you to this moment, it's too wonderful to speak
You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me
So let me recklessly love you, even if I bleed
You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me

Chorus (X2)

It's where I'll start

I just started crying as soon as I heard the chorus. Every baby deserves all of me and the hope that God has given me is worth the heartache that life sometimes brings. And someday I will have a moment that is too wonderful to speak. God gave me this baby to recklessly love, whether it is for a short time or the rest of my life. And, guess what, it is worth it!

It kind of reminds me of my weight loss journey and how God used it to prepare me for our journey into parenthood. Everything that is amazing is worth pain and work and diligence and faith. The least we can do is allow ourselves to reach the amazing things in life that are just so wonderful by allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, yet strong. By letting ourselves go out on a limb and with the help of God reach towards something that seems so impossible. Love yourself and don't be afraid. Life is too incredible to stand on the sidelines because you might get hurt.

I love you all and thank you for your continued love and encouragement. I pray you are all striving to reach whatever goals you have set and realize that you are so worth it!


Member Comments About This Blog Post:
SIM1SAYS 9/2/2012 11:30AM

    Your story and spirit have really inspired me. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.

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KATE6291 8/28/2012 8:36PM

  Thank you do much for sharing - I have so much hesitation and fear that being pregnant again won't be what it's "supposed" to be the second time around, but reading this seemed to help some of that!! And congratulations!!! :)

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JENNA-P 8/23/2012 1:10PM

    I think your feelings are normal. I felt the same way. I think in away you will never have that innocence again like women who have never had a loss, but you will still be able to bond and love your baby at the same time. I found that the quiet moments where I could just sit and focus on his kicks and movements was them time when I really let myself feel hope and a connection to my baby.

I'm so glad that you didn't give up. I know that one day you will be holding your miracle baby in your arms, just like I am and you will be so happy that you didn't give up! If you need to chat please send me a message.

I'm thinking about you!!

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GERISUE63 8/23/2012 11:16AM

  It sounds like you are doing great!!!! Congratulations! I was wondering if you happened to teach at Northwest High? My son Sam has a math class with a Mrs. Ross and wondered if it was you? Anyways hope you have a great school year and keep up the great work! emoticon

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BETHSWORLD 7/8/2012 5:07PM



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YESCURLYCAN 7/3/2012 6:48AM

  Your last paragraph was very touching. Wishing you a wonderful, healthy pregnancy. God brought you this far, and He is still right there with you :) emoticon

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MOONBIRD 6/26/2012 2:06PM

    I can't imagine what it must be like to go through what you went through. You are such a strong person and doing everything to take care of yourself and this baby, and that's so wonderful. It's amazing how you can love someone you've never met and the moment you first see them you can't imagine loving anyone more. I am keeping you in my thoughts and wishing you the best pregnancy (and delivery) ever. emoticon

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MARSCK 6/26/2012 11:49AM

    Here is the link

It brought tears to my eyes.

You are going to be a great mom!!

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JOYCRN 6/22/2012 6:46AM

    Praying for you too. emoticon

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HOPESINGH 6/22/2012 6:29AM

    I hope your pregnancy goes on smoothly and happily, and that all your love can flow calmly to your family and yourself.

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STESSOUTCHICK 6/22/2012 1:09AM

    Balance in the diet? I never can do that

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WALLAHALLA 6/21/2012 11:37PM

    I never loved my body more than when I was pregnant. Because I was older, I was in the high risk category for everything. It always amazes me that other people's memories of my pregnancy are so radically different from my own. They remember how huge I was, and in their opinions, how miserable it was. I only remember being deliriously happy and fascinated with every little change and stage I went through. Maybe it was because I knew it would be my one and only pregnancy, but I loved every moment of it. I always envy pregnant women now, because I know I can never experience that type of joy again. It is totally indescribable. I am so happy that you have been blessed.

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WINNIE1978 6/21/2012 5:49PM

    The song brought tears to my eyes... and I am not even a mother. I am hoping and praying that God gives you this baby to love for a very, very long time.


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KPETSCHE 6/21/2012 5:44PM

    Everything in life is a circle. Your weight loss goals brought you to a place in your life where you are making a healthier "you" for your families' future. I'm hoping that all works out fine for you on this pregnancy because motherhood is such a special honor that God gives to us. Best wishes on your journey.

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GRACEISENUF 6/21/2012 12:58PM

    By God's grace you will love your baby with all your heart just like the song says.

Your testimony and your love for God is such a blessing.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MEWHENRYSMAMA 6/21/2012 12:13PM

MARY emoticon emoticon

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