While I'm not focusing on losing weight (or even maintaining my weight) right now, I am still trying to find balance in my diet. My doctor wants me to eat around 2,400 calories a day and gain around 35 pounds during my pregnancy. I have been trying my hardest to eat that much food (its a lot!) while still making healthy choices. I've added more cheese to my diet along with whole grain foods that are higher in calories. I eat yogurt daily and have also started making fruit and veggie smoothies. I have already gained 10 pounds.......... at 14 weeks but I am hoping in the end I can control my weight gain and focus on eating for a healthy baby!

Before we got pregnant, I was very worried about if my heart could handle loving another baby, knowing that in every pregnancy there is a chance of loss. I was worried I would distance my heart from our new baby to try to protect myself in some way. I didn't want to ever feel the anguish of losing another child. Ever. Once you experience the loss of a pregnancy you no longer have the innocence and blissfulness of other pregnant women. But I didn't want that to stop me from the intimate and precious bond women experience with their unborn children. I heard the song All of Me by Matt Hammitt a few months before we found out we were pregnant. Here are the lyrics:

Afraid to love
Something that could break
Could I move on
If you were torn away?
And I'm so close to what I can't control
I can't give you half my heart
And pray He makes you whole

(Chorus)
You're gonna have all of me
You're gonna have all of me
'Cause you're worth every falling tear
You're worth facing any fear
You're gonna know all my love
Even if it's not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts
But giving you all of me is where I'll start

I won't let sadness steal you from my arms
I won't let pain keep you from my heart
I'll trade the fear of all that I could lose
For every moment I share with you

Chorus

Heaven brought you to this moment, it's too wonderful to speak
You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me
So let me recklessly love you, even if I bleed
You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me

Chorus (X2)

It's where I'll start

I just started crying as soon as I heard the chorus. Every baby deserves all of me and the hope that God has given me is worth the heartache that life sometimes brings. And someday I will have a moment that is too wonderful to speak. God gave me this baby to recklessly love, whether it is for a short time or the rest of my life. And, guess what, it is worth it!

It kind of reminds me of my weight loss journey and how God used it to prepare me for our journey into parenthood. Everything that is amazing is worth pain and work and diligence and faith. The least we can do is allow ourselves to reach the amazing things in life that are just so wonderful by allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, yet strong. By letting ourselves go out on a limb and with the help of God reach towards something that seems so impossible. Love yourself and don't be afraid. Life is too incredible to stand on the sidelines because you might get hurt.

I love you all and thank you for your continued love and encouragement. I pray you are all striving to reach whatever goals you have set and realize that you are so worth it!