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GOLOPTIOUS

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Workout Nemesis

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Guess who got her little (well, not-so-little) behind up and went to the gym BEFORE work this morning.

If you guessed me, you're wrong.

Just kidding! It was totally me!

I wasn't happy about it, and I was about half an hour late getting there, but I did it. I told Yoda that I would go twice a day at least two days a week since I apparently can't seem to stay away from fast food.

Guess who was there.

If you thought it was Yoda, you're wrong.

JUST KIDDING.

Yoda was there. He works something like 5-10am and then again in the evenings. I guess he really just schedules training whenever he wants. I am a brat, though, and I make him train me at whatever time I want.

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Yeah. I think I'm awfully funny this morning, don't I? I blame the early workout.

Anyway, when I got there it was already half an hour later than I had planned. In talking to Yoda yesterday, we decided that I would do weights in the mornings and cardio at night. My weights routine also consists of cardio, so I have to run two miles (which I actually walk/jog) before I do my weights. Since I was late, I decided to cut that down to one mile. I needed to make sure that I wasn't late for work.

I hit that mile. It was tough. I was tired. My legs and knees were aching. But I hit it.

Then something magical happened - I kept going. I figured I was at a mile, so what harm would it do to run another? I always run the second mile faster anyway.

At a mile and a half, I was in the zone. I was doing 5.5 to a pretty rocking song (The Eagles "Get Over It") and I was oblivious to anything around me.

I don't know how long he was standing there but I suddenly noticed Yoda standing on the treadmill next to me, so I slowed down and took my headphones off. We had a little chat while I walked. I felt self-conscious because I was SUPER sweaty. Like grossly. I'm pretty sure it was dripping off of my face. He gave me some encouragement and we chatted for a few minutes about my workouts now that I'm doing two-a-days a couple of times a week. He wants me to incorporate the elliptical now so that I'm not always on a treadmill. Then he went away - he was actually mid-training session with another girl and she was pedalling furiously on a stationary bike two rows behind me.

As soon as I hit two miles, I wiped off my machine (yes, I am awesome and wipe of the machines after I use them) and headed over to the Freemotion Area.

The Freemotion Area really needs a nickname. Maybe I'll just call it the Jedi Training Area since that's where most of my workout takes place and I'm training with Yoda.

Also, I can move things with my mind.

Not really.

Anyway, I kicked some behind at those weights. I did everything that Yoda told me to and that we had done at our last training session. Then I got to the end and realized that I was supposed to jump onto that box.

Fear.

Panic.

I looked around. There was no one in the area besides the people on treadmills with their backs to me EXCEPT for one trainer who was training a pretty fit looking guy. This trainer isn't one of my favorites. In fact, I think he actually runs or owns the gym or something and he's not very friendly to me.

But they weren't facing me.

I lined up with the box. Yes, the box, not the step that Yoda let me jump onto last time. I bent my knees.

False start.

I looked around. No one was watching. I tried again.

Nope. Feet didn't leave the ground.

Then I had a brilliant idea.

The women's only room! I could go in there and do it. At 6:30 in the morning it was probably pretty empty. I walked around the gym and into the room. There were two women. They were older and reminded me of my mom, so I thought to myself: "Self, this will be awesome. They won't judge you. And if you trip and fall, they look like the kind of people that would help instead of ignore you."

Guess what.

The step was in there. Yay! It's shorter than the box!

I lined it up in front of the mirror.

I bent my knees.

Nothing. I stepped up onto the step. I stepped down. I prepared to jump.

My legs froze. Again.

I tried it a few more times and then I realized that I needed to leave if I was going to shower and get to work on time.

As I made my way out of the gym, I passed Yoda and the poor girl he was torturing. They were downstairs in the weight equipment area (NOT Meathead Central) and she was struggling. I came up behind him and teasingly used my foot to gently push his leg so he'd lose his balance a little.

He asked me why I was out of here so early and I politely informed him that it wasn't early and that I had run two miles and done all my weights - except for the box.

He laughed and told me to go do it before I left.

I told him what had happened - the standing, the fear, the false starts - and that I had tried to do it for almost twenty minutes.

Meanwhile, the poor girl looked like she was about to kick Yoda in the face. Lol.

I said I was sorry, but that it scared me.

"It's your nemesis!" Yoda said excitedly.

I laughed. Sadly. Because it's true.

As much as I hate several of the machines (I'm looking at you, Stair-Stepper) and as much as I fear losing my grip and falling on those stupid nylon strap contraptions in the Jedi Training Area, none of them cause me to freeze like jumping.

Then I promised that I would do that exercise with him next time. And that I'd keep trying and that someday I'd kill it.

I want to. I think it would be so awesome if at training sometime Yoda was like all "Hey, Dork, jump onto this step" and I was all like "No way, Yoda" and he was like "Don't you tell me no or I'll make you do three-a-days" and I was like "Oh, I'll jump, but it's going to be on the tallest box" and he was like "Ha. I bet you can't" and I was like "Watch this" and then I did it and he was like "My work here is done, the apprentice has become the master" and I was like "You better believe it, now drop and give me 50" and he did 50 push-ups because I told him to. The end.

Yeah. That's going to be my best day ever!
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