Thursday, June 21, 2012
I have missed so many goals lately. There have been a couple of times as of late, too, where I missed tracking things for the day. It's cost me points virtually, and I feel like kind of a slacker. But, ultimately, it's up to me.
Let's talk about missing tracking first.
The first time, I didn't track because my other half and I out out grocery shopping uber-late. Even if we didn't leave late, we stayed out late. I could have, and should have, tracked my goals, my minutes, my nutrients.
The second time was more recent, I attended a good friend's open house, and shortly after arriving home, it began to storm. We headed back over to my boyfriend's house after it had calmed down. I think I got caught up in cooking, and neglected to track everything again.
BUT, I didn't beat myself up about it, everySparky. I didn't. And that's because I kept in mind that even though I didn't track it, I still racked in miles; I knew what I'd eaten; I knew what goals I'd met, and what goals I didn't meet, and I made a note to try again tomorrow.
Most of the problem is time. I sometimes look at the clock and realize just how late it is, and I panic because I won't meet the deadline. But, whose deadline? Mine? The website's?
Yes, I'm missing virtual points, but that doesn't negate the work I've actually done; I'm missing a kind of reward, I guess, but it doesn't hurt as much, as, say, missing an entire day's worth of actual activity, moving around, knowing I'm doing something good for myself.
I didn't feel bad about those two days, also, because I know what I ate, and I know I did my best to behave myself, and to at least move around a little bit.
I feel kind of like this is 2010 again, where I'm on the SparkWagon again, but start to fall off after a few months. I'd be good for two months, get tired of tracking everything, and then just stop.
BUT...I haven't stopped. I feel like I don't want to track, but unless it's been one of the aforementioned days, I haven't not tracked. It might get done late, but it gets done. My job has officially been plopped into the middle of my day for the summer, and that makes it hard to track, too. I still take photo reminders of my food, I still track if I have time before I leave the house.
Aaaaand, the house. Enter missing goals.
I have been missing important goals – stretching and dancing – because of the situation in my home. My father has a rotator cuff injury he's been dealing with since late April. He keeps odd hours, gets up late at night, and still seems to get up when I do in the morning. My mom is now off from work for a bit because there was a break or fracture in a bone in a wrist. She, too, has been staying up later, and is still an early riser. I used to work out first thing in the morning...then dad got hurt. I thought, no biggie, I'll try for it at night. And so on.
Now, I do my damnedest to walk my dog every day (which has been mornings recently, because hey, it's summer now, it gets hot, and he is furry), at LEAST; I haven't been dancing or stretching much at home, and in class, it's a crapshoot, because we're learning a new choreo, and it's only tiny bits at a time, repeatedly.
I don't want to ask/tell my parents that I need the personal time/space to do this...the past few times this has happened, it's felt like they've been trapped in the back area of their own house. I hate it. I feel so guilty about it. And they most certainly didn't mean for the injuries to happen.
Even at work, there are issues – the dance room is available off-the-clock for the time being, but I don't want people to barge in on me while I'm concentrating or actually relaxing while stretching. That shakes up the adrenaline, and it's happened before, which was mildly embarrassing (AND annoying – TWICE in the same 10 minutes!!!).
It's just frustrating because I don't have the time/space to dance stretch in the morning...then my job is from 11 am or 12 pm until 6:30 pm...and then I still don't have the time/space I'd like. If I do get it, it's much too late, and I'm just ready for bed (think 2 AM).
...so...I'm not upset if I miss tracking...but I am upset if I miss goals (and feel guilty about wanting my own space to work out in). Especially since a big part of this lifestyle change has been being more physically active. I don't enjoy running, I'm not a weight-lifting type...dance has been the best thing for me.
Advice? Questions? Comments?