Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Today was an ordinary day. Nothing of note really happened. In fact, nothing of note has happened since graduation, because I haven't done anything. This is on purpose though. I have had 22 years of doing way more than I can handle 24/7 and it is about time I took a break. However, I am ending this day in a good mood.
I went to the library today and libraries always make me happy. I love browsing book titles and deciding which ones will interest me. Books speak to me like an old friend and reveal to me how much I have changed. I went to the library planning to find a fun summer chic lit read to rest my brain, but found that with every back cover that referenced a spunky 20 something chic looking for the love of her life I gagged. I ended up walking out with the feminist classic, Chopin's Awakening, and Faulkner's The Sound and the Fury. This made me happy, this change in my tastes and priorities.
I also played tennis today and saw part of the most beautiful sunset. I couldn't see the sun, and only saw a portion of the sky, but that little portion up in the rafters as I tossed the ball for my serve, was the most beautiful smear of colors. Bright tunnels of light illuminating a lilac and blue backdrop. Despite playing terribly, that image made me come out with a net happiness value.
I went past my calorie limit today. I was so close to getting it into all of the ranges of protein, fat and carbs, but I was hungry. I had eaten at 4:30 in order to not be sick for tennis. What I chose to eat was not a healthy snack either, refried beans, cheese, sour cream, and french bread, but boy was it satisfying. It tasted so delicious and got rid of my hunger like a charm. Maybe this isn't the most motivational message for Sparkpeople. I didn't follow my plan. I didn't remain strong, but that bowl of beans made me happy. It was happy not in an emotional eating sort of way. I've definitely gone that route before and always feel terrible afterwords. No this was a different sort of satisfaction, one in which I had done what I wanted and what felt right. The majority of the time the diet plan at Sparkpeople is perfect and following it definitely works, but sometimes a bowl of beans past your calorie limit, a piece of a sunset, and a classic novel are exactly what you need to solve the equation for a good day.
The equation will be different tomorrow, and I will do what makes me happy.