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Clearing the monster out from under my bed

Monday, June 18, 2012

Halfway through my first season kayaking I got a painful dose of reality about my abilities

The experience I had in 2010 was so traumatic - my first bad day on a river ever - that it was crazy how fearful I became. It took a month for me to really get my nerve back.

I did get my nerve back and went on to run more rivers that year.

I lost my second season to a snowboard injury.

I'm happy to report that this past weekend I returned to that river and ran it twice. There were a couple of combat rolls, but no swimming. And despite my disproportionate fear on the first run, I hit most of my lines and had a very good time, with good friends.

Here are some websites about where this took place:


I've run harder things since then. But THESE PARTICULAR rapids had kicked my butt and assumed a terrifying status in my memory that was far out of proportion for my current experience and abilities.

I'm so glad to have run them again, and established for myself that I now have the experience and abilities to run them. It's like exorcising a monster from out of my closet or under my bed.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    wow you are amazing loved the story, my monsters were about walking down corridors that seem like a skating rink, at work. I am now back to striding down the hall at work, but it has taken almost 18 mths to do so mentally not physically. I have a lot of sympathy for car accident victims it must be really hard to drive again after a crash, You are an extremist
    1938 days ago
    This gives me hope that I will be able to conquer a monster of my own. While downhill skiing in January 2011 my equipment didn't feel like it was fitting the way it should and the tension on the bindings was set too light so I kept dropping a ski. I told the group I was with that I was going to head in and I would meet them for lunch so we could head back out together after. I allowed them to talk me into one more run. This time when I dropped a ski I had a big fall injuring my pelvis that still flares up today. That ended my ski season for 2011. It took me a couple of trips to work my way out of the green runs and haven't been back to that bigger hill yet, but I plan to get back on it next season.

    Congratulations on the progress you have made!
    1944 days ago
    THAT'S the way to NAIL those monsters! Way to SPARK! :-)

    1947 days ago
    You are amazing!
    1947 days ago
    good job! I find a similar experience with some of the trails we mountain bike, I'm able to ride much more than I have in the past, pushing past the fear is a good thing!
    1948 days ago
    That's terrific: you stared 'em down!!
    1948 days ago
    The US Whitewater Center is located here in Charlotte - I use the grounds for hiking... But the rafting and kayaking look very tempting!!!
    1948 days ago
  • RG_DFW
    Good for you
    1948 days ago
    Glad you conquered that river! I admire you for going back to defeat it!
    1948 days ago
    At least you didn't give up completely. I am glad you were able to conquer that monster! Bravo!!
    1948 days ago
    good for you !
    1948 days ago
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