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My scale .....


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Monday, June 18, 2012

Every morning I weight myself and every morning it says that same thing.... 155.?? Every morning. So I'm starting to get upset, mad, frustrated, sad, depressed, ready to quit, go on a binge and just eat what ever I want and sit on my jiggly butt and play Sims3 for next 3 months!

Did you know that sparks has this wonderful part that has reports? Reports on everything that you have logged in. EVERYTHING!! So last night I'm looking and trying to figure out why I haven't lost any weight at all! And what do I find out? That I've only been really doing this for a month and in that month I have had at least 6 Sonic chocolate milkshakes, 2 cheese burgers, 3 orders of fries, a box of Little Debbies snack cakes, a half gallon of ice cream, 3 can's of Pringles chips, 7 candy bars and 30 cans of Dr. Pepper. Now I know that's not a lot of bad stuff for a month, but when you really want to lose weight eating a 700 calorie cheese burger or a 900 calorie milk shake doesn't really help you out.

So why am I not losing weight? Well I would have if I didn't have all that junk. And why did I have that junk? ......... Well why not? I'm exercising right? I'm eating veggies for lunch and supper. I'm eating a good for you cereal for breakfast, I lost 20 pounds last year, I've had a stressful day, so why shouldn't I have little enjoyment in my life? WHAT A JOKE!!! JUNK FOOD IS NOT ENJOYMENT!! Junk food doesn't make anything better the only thing it does is make your body jigglier. If I want to really reward myself for being good or for having a stressful day I should go and spend that money on some new music or a movie or something tangible! Not something that will end up in the toilet!

I tell myself that I want to lose 20 more pounds. I'm tired of looking like I'm 4 months pregnant. I'm tired of my back, not my butt, my back jiggling when I brush my teeth. I'm tired of the inside of my pants wearing out. I'm tired of this jiggly stuff hanging on my arms. I'm tired of having this under my chin. I'm tired of being soft and squishy. And what do I do? I go and eat a bunch of junk that just voids all my effort . So all I'm really doing is wasting my time logging in all this stuff, exercising and watching what I'm eating. If I'm just going to keep shoving junk into my mouth then I should just stop wasting time on SP.

I know I have said that everyone deserves a treat now and again and that it's ok to eat bad 20% of the time. But what I'm doing is WAY more than 20 % of the time. Cause I don't log the Hershey Kisses, or the piece of candy and they add up very quickly. I don't even know how much of that I've had this past month.

so what to do, what to do?? give up ???? Get rid of the junk in my house ???? Stay busier ????? Put duct tape on my mouth ... hmmmm that might work! Cut a little hole in it so I can drink through a straw. .... just kidding. ........ Pay more attention to what goes into my mouth ?? ???? That might be the easiest and the best. Getting rid of the junk food just makes me want it more and I live in a house of skinny people that don't over eat the way I do. So this is my problem, not theirs, that I have to solve. I have to fix my eating habits. I have to watch what I eat. If I really want to lose weight and get rid of the jiggles than I have to do something about it.

Ok .... I'm done with the pity party. Think I will go do some exercising, wash some clothes, clean the kitchen, listen to some music, .....

HAVE A GREAT DAY !!!!!
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I'd like to thank everyone for the support and your kind words. Your comments have really been a highlight for me. I never thought anybody would read my venting, much less comment on it. again thank you!!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
BEESLOVE 11/20/2012 12:56PM

  Just joined sparkpeople two months ago. Spreading the word to friends and family cos it has helped me a great deal. Best word is SWAP! Think what will make you love your body more in the end. Wish you all the luck.

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COLEE82 10/9/2012 8:59PM

    Great blog - don't give up now. You've identified the problem, now it's time to tackle it. You can do this!
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SISTERDEAR 10/6/2012 10:18PM

    Ha! Just came across this and think it's great. Haven't read anything you've posted since, so don't know how you've done. At least you were able to see what was going on and determine a change of plan! Good for you!

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DTYUNGU 10/3/2012 8:50AM

    wow... im about to check my report now... thanks for the heads up!

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PATTY58237 9/21/2012 2:20PM

  A reminder from the heart.
A reminder from the head.

I will keep this in mind for sure.


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GREENMOUSE 9/13/2012 10:20AM

    So true so true! Thanks for sharing!

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MY_YEAR_IS_2012 9/3/2012 8:29PM

    good blog i am right where you are!

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MYRNA929 8/16/2012 3:37PM

    This was a great blog! Heard you loud and clear. You can do this, keep your goals in the forefront of your mind. Thanks for sharing!

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JADE465 8/12/2012 8:47PM

    This is truly an awesome blog. I needed to read this today. Thank you!

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MAMA_CD 8/11/2012 6:19PM

    Good choice, you're looking great! emoticon

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ODIANI724 8/11/2012 11:56AM

  You are really correct all those little pieces of candy due add up. I decided when I got back from vacation(4th of July) that I was going to start logging in every thing I ate. which is just what i did. At first it said I was not eating enough and putting my body into starvation mode. I did not feel hungry, but at the same time I thought maybe it was right. The first week at eating less then was recommended I lost five pounds. but then I started feeling run down and I am determine to change the way I eat for good so I can lose weigh I have stated eating more and trying to eat more balanced meals. But the main thing I have done is watch my portions and watch how much fat, carb and protein I have eating. I do still have some of those foods that maybe I should not have. Like pizza but when I do have pizza one piece is my limit. I have been eating 3 to 4 pieces of fruit a day, and am also trying to add more veggies. I take carrot to work, steam veggies, such as squash and broccoli and eating more salads. It has taken me a month but have lost almost another five pound. does not seem like much but if I can lose 5 pound a month I will be down 30 pounds by christmas. I know I must take it one day at a time, but blogs like these another show me that like all of you it takes commit and life changes on the way we eat and how much we exercise to lose and maintain these losses. I'm hoping to get back in my little black dress.. emoticon Everyone keep motivated and lean on who every you can when you find the temptation to eat those thing that we all love and know we should not have... But when you do, do as a reward or treat to yourself for a good week or couple of weeks. Remember you can still have some of those thing just in smaller sizes and less frequent. Try have the burger with no bun, or the pizza with veggies only.. Every little change will help

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JUDSTERF 8/6/2012 11:52PM

    WOW!!! What honesty!!! Great job!!!! Being honest with yourself is one of the biggest if not the biggest step you'll ever take in your life. Proud of you!!!!

Ya know? I think I was "born" weighing 155#!!!!! I know I was born AT LEAST a size 14 !!!! LOL. I would give my eye teeth to weigh that now.

I really messed up today, but I've owned up to it and now I can start anew.

Keep up the good job!!

Judy. emoticon

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THELAW12 8/6/2012 5:29PM

    emoticon As I was reading this blog I was thinking when did I write this emoticon Now everyone will know my secret. Just like the others that have commented you are not alone. I lost 20 pounds and also weigh 155 pounds. as-a-matter-of-fact around 3:00 I was getting bored and decided to grab a Hershey with almonds and my intent was to eat just a little but i kept going back. Yeah I feel bad but i will not dwell and work it off. You look great! Hope all the responses keep you motivated! remember when you learn better you do better. Good luck!

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PUNKY_CHICKSTER 8/1/2012 11:38AM

    What I had to do was set myself small goals, tackle one addiction/bad habit at a time rather than try to do it all at once. First, I limited my fast food intake to 1 meal/week. When I had that down (took a few weeks), then I would only allow myself 1 or 2 sweet treats a day (this is by far the hardest for me, and I *still* slip up with it)... honestly cutting back the sweets gives me something to look forward to, and helps me choose my treat more wisely, so that it's something I really want not just anything convenient or chocolate-y. Because I have IBS and essentially "graze" on small meals all day, I'm to the goal of replacing my snacks one by one with healthier alternatives (greek yogurt w/ fruit instead of ice cream, a peach instead of a cookie, bell peppers in place of pretzels). Fruit is honestly my saving grace for my sweet tooth. Also, get religious about logging e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. When you look at the candy dish, use your laziness to your advantage- say "no" simply because you don't feel like having to go to your computer, log on, and figure out exactly how much you just ate.

I also have a white board on my refrigerator, and for every day that I eat well, I put the number up there, and start over when I've had a "bad" day. I also count every day I work out for at least 10 minutes, so when I go to the refrigerator for a little comfort food, there is my progress staring me in the face. I look at those numbers, and I don't want to lose the progress I've fought so hard for.

If you want encouragement, by all means send me a friend request and I will be more than happy to start a little "cheer" circle emoticon

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NICOLENCCU 8/1/2012 11:17AM

    Hi, i received an email on the blogabout your scale and wanted to comment. Well you sound like alot of us and you have alot of truths onthere and if we can just get up and move and get our mindset together and change our pattern on how to eat and what to eat we will be fine. its all about changing this pattern of overeating and eating the wrong things that we are actually use to eating. My dad lost 75lbs and he did it by changing his eating habits. he slips up every once in awhile but he learned how to change his ways and become successful; Its all in the mind and once we get our minds on the right path we will be successful.

I honestly dont kno what to tell you but I can say...try watching the health channels and looking at dr.oz shows to see if something will click.

I know i saw this one show on the health channel and this lady had gastric bypass; well when she had th surgery her mom was bringing her ice cream beecause that was all she could eat...welll....she got hookeed on that certain ice cream and if im not mistaken she was eating like 2000 bars a year...and one of the health consultant showed her how bad it was when she but out th top part of a soda bottle where your lips touch it to drink the soda; she cut that part off and poured some melted ice cream liquid in that top and showed her how much she ate in a day . she ate so much in a day that the liquid was going over the floor. it was crazy. but I just wanted to share something with you to maybe get you on the right path. like i said i dont know what to say because im in the same boat as you. im trying to get my mindset right too. when i think of a formula to get it right i will let you know. but whatever you do...please DO NOT give up. you will makee it. Keep in touch!

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AUGIESMITH 7/29/2012 7:12PM

  You sound like me!! Wow, could I relate to your blog. I am trying to get to 155, but like you, I let my sugar addiction get in my way to getting there. I try to watch the amount of junk I put in my mouth, and most of the time I put it in there anyway because what would it hurt? Ha! Then I am frustrated like you. Thank you for your honest reflection.

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CIERAPOET 7/28/2012 5:04PM

    I'm Sure Someone Has Already Said This But emoticon YOU DIDN'T GAIN ANY WEIGHT! emoticon

I'm looking on the bright side for you. When used to eat like that I gain like 5lbs. lol For real. This is a great blog and I know you are back on track. I don't eat a lot of fast food but I can go crazy over a homemade Gooey Butter Cake I've made for my son or Low Fat Brownies I've added Reese's Pieces to. Thanks for sharing and giving us all something to think about. Many Blessings To You On Meeting Your Goals!
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TJANGIE 7/28/2012 2:52PM

    Love this! A real inspiration and eye opener....I, Too, ate junk because I was exercising. No more...thank you for sharing and keep it up!

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SLIPFORD 7/28/2012 12:50AM

    DID YOU SAY 155 POUNDS! GOD I ENVY YOU. I WISH I WAS 155 POUNDS ALTHOUGH MY GOAL IS 160 AND IT IS TAKING ME A LONG TIME TO GET THERE. I KEEP ON JUMPING OFF THE WAGON AND GETTING BACK ON. LOL . I AM SO PROUD OF YOU AND YOU LOOK VERY NICE TO BE 155 POUNDS. I WOULD HAVE GUESS YOU WERE 130 POUNDS. YOU DO NOT LOOK LIKE YOU WEIGHT 155 POUNDS.. KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK. emoticon

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MANILUS 7/26/2012 10:53PM

    Doing the best for your health, making the change is the answer! You look good at 155!

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SARAJANE_82 7/25/2012 8:08PM

    Love your honesty here. Being honest with yourself and with everyone else. I hear ya too cuz I love junk food too! That is how I got here right. Something has to give. You can do it!

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SALEX52 7/25/2012 1:06AM

    It's a challenge to keep going after things have gotten so much better. Like you, I still have more to lose, but I'm starting to like where I am so the motivation is much harder.

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STRESSEATERNOMO 7/23/2012 4:50PM

  I think that's one of the biggest problems of weight-losing that SP aims to solve - the "woe is me" idea that "we are the only one" dealing with these specific issues, who have this specific mentality. You nailed the way of thinking about it for me, and you nailed it for all those posting comments. You even nailed the question! I sadly also don't have a solution. But I do sincerely appreciate you telling the rest of us that think like that in the world that we are NOT alone, we are NOT unique in our thinking, that other's are struggling with the same issues and thoughts - and so not to give up! We are all not a "lost cause!" These are not issues, thoughts, and feelings, only "I" am dealing with. There are others. And we can at least take solace in that when times are tough.

Comment edited on: 7/23/2012 4:53:46 PM

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DIXIEDONE 7/23/2012 1:42PM

    Great read! Thanks for posting. emoticon

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TAZZITUDE 7/23/2012 12:19PM

  I know exactly how you feel seriously
i have been away from here for a month because that is how i felt i was so frustrated , only one thing different i wasnt eating any of the fast food stuff i had been working out everyday .I got so frustrated i quit working out for two weeks i still ate right tho ..... and then my daughter reminded me " hey mom " you know muscle weighs more than fat . Ohhh well that explains it i am not seeing a difference because i have built some muscle .So needless to say i feel much better and i am back here keeping track , So dont give up !! emoticon

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ABRADY19 7/23/2012 7:47AM

    This was awesome! Thanks for sharing and you can do it!!!

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LOVEXAVIE 7/22/2012 4:45PM

  What a GREAT post!!
I know until I started writing down everything I ate, I had no idea of all I was consuming. What an eye opener!

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TERRIBERRI4 7/22/2012 3:10PM

  Been there, done that! Thank you very much for your honesty and encouragement! Is it up to us...

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SWEETLIPS 7/22/2012 11:17AM

    ooh ooh I am so with you. I took some pictures for a 2 month challenge to put on a garmet that did not fit and work on getting it to fit in 2 months - it is making progress. Well, this blog would go with why those clothes don't fit and thank you. At least you can remember - I could not.

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SUSIE2141 7/22/2012 3:29AM

  Thank you for sharing. emoticon

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MEMORIES7 7/20/2012 6:15PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WHITEANGEL4 7/19/2012 11:41PM

    You know where you have a problem and you have owned up to it. It is okay to have something on your list occassionally. That is the key word occassionally. If you replace all your soda with water you will be able to tell a difference shortly. also you will find that when you drink a soda it will be too sweet and make you feel really bad. I keep no junk food in my home. I do keep a bag of Dove dark chocolates at the house and when I want the taste of chocolate I will take one and let it melt in my mouth. One will satisfy me and a bag will last me for months. I keep presliced apples in the frige and when I want a snack I will grab a couple of them. Sometimes I put a little natural peanut butter on the apples. I keep other fruits available. The last time I bought grapes, the clerk looked at me and asked if I was sure I got enough. I had the produce manager put about 1/4 of the normal packaging for me. I will say that at our store the produce manager is really good about packing things in smaller amounts for me.

You will succeed, because you know what is your downfall. Keep it up and we will see a happy Sparks member

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GREENTARA73 7/19/2012 11:09PM

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for voicing your issues! I've been feeling the same way. Quite honestly, I wasn't even going to log on today because I wasn't feeling well about my progress. I was scanning my email and yours came up. It's really nice to know I am not the only one struggling (I know there are others, but you hit the nail on the head for me!). Thank you for being honest in your blog. You have given me the slap that I needed. I just wish I read this before I ate a bowl of caramel corn... Oh well ;)

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ERICACEAE 7/19/2012 3:16PM

    You can do it! Start by kicking the soda habit if you can. You'll feel so much better! Start to find healthy treats that you enjoy, and choose them instead of fast food options. For example, a try a blender smoothie made from half a frozen banana, three cubes of frozen yogurt (use an icecube tray!), 1/2 cub skim milk and a tsp of cocoa. You won't even want to go back to nasty artificial-syrup shakes again!

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DOTTY7267 7/19/2012 2:36PM

    Those reports are great. When I used the weight tracking graphs, it really helped me to pinpoint different things I was doing to get the results I was seeing.
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SUSIESLIM62 7/19/2012 2:02PM

 

Thanks for your words of wisdom! I know I really need to kick it in gear and start tracking my food intake. Thanks for the push to do what's right. No one said this would be easy, just worth it! emoticon

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ALADY2BE 7/19/2012 12:47PM

    Great blog...we can do this!!!

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GREMLINOEL 7/19/2012 11:20AM

  I was meant to see your blog today. I've been feeling frustrated, but now I realize that I have been rationalizing that afternoon piece (or two) of chocolate. It's just a small bite, but they do add up quickly. Thank you for the reminder! Keep up the good work! emoticon

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ROSE-LITE 7/19/2012 9:40AM

  wow! I was meant to see your blog this morning! yup I've been whining as well why am I not losing?? and you're so right.. if I just look back... I just joined Spark so no "records" yet BUT have been trying this for 10 months now and I know what I ate and yup I'd rationalize it... you go girl... and thanks!

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VXWALL1942 7/18/2012 10:57PM

    Those reports are available daily from the Nutrition Tracker. IF you track everything that goes in your mouth you'll know without a shadow of a doubt why the scale refuses to budge. (That statement is for my own benefit, as well as yours.) Your perspective is clear. Stay the course and use the tools on SP to your advantage. Exercise without decreasing your caloric intake will never result in weight loss. Look at it as 'waist management'. Target decreasing the size o f your waist and let the scale have a rest. Pull out the tape measure. It is an acceptable alternative measure of how you are doing. Hang in there. You know the way to success and I for one look forward to celebrating your ultimate achievements.

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LESSNESS1 7/18/2012 4:04PM

    i can and do understand, been there many a time and still working on it. emoticon

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SKINNYJACLYN 7/18/2012 1:57PM

  Thank you for sharing. Your blog is actually inspirational. Being 43 has made losing weight a tougher battle than I've ever had before. ( I could lose weight so fast). But like you I've made similar bad food investments and because of the food logging, i can no longer be so mad at my body. Its just that now when I have a chocolate bar, it doesnt just stay for a short visit like it used to. Now it hugs me and squeezes me so tight and tells me it'll never let me go. But like you I'm a fighter and we wont pout over our junk food denial. I'm carrying pictures of my large self to remind me how terrible that burger and large fries make me look. Hang in there kitty:D

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SYLREBER 7/18/2012 12:18PM

  Wow, I can surely identify with you!!! Thanks for the encouragement - I know we can do it!!

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RHAL1462 7/18/2012 10:08AM

    emoticon

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FITSMALLCLOTHES 7/18/2012 1:09AM

    Yes, you said it for many of us and said it well. It is not the people in the same house problem. It is personal. It is the choices each of us make every moment.
I am so glad you have opened your eyes to what you will notice.
With your well-written blog, many of us will.
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MSROZZIE 7/17/2012 9:02PM

    You are not alone. Stay focused and thanks for sharing. Loved your blog! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ASLI193 7/17/2012 5:54PM

    i have the same struggle u do. i kept thinking that at the end of the blog u would have all the answers, but i guess i like that u dont better. there's no magic solution to wanting bad food and also wanting to weigh less. maybe there's only the daily grind of pushing thru binge urges and putting one foot in front of the other in exercise. it makes me feel better to know that someone out there is struggling exactly the same way i am, and it inspires me to continue even though u aren't here to hold my hand while we struggle together. keep up the good fight! i'm right there with ya!

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KULIAANE 7/17/2012 5:24PM

  Hang in there girl!!! Wow! If that isn't me. I think I was meant to see this too! Nothing helps me when I'm in a funk. Eating all that stuff just tastes good!!!!!!!!!! Right? Anything tastes good when ur hungry, right? How do you feel afterward? Sick? Unsatisfied? Stoopid? Ready to shoot yurself?? Maybe you should've had a piece of fruit and cheese, rather than the hot fudge sundae that didn't satisfy you? That's me and it sounds like you too. Anyway I still haven't conquered my demons, but I have learned that one of the reasons one eats junk is because vitamins and minerals are lacking in one's diet. Sound familiar? Is it emotional WT...eating? I already blew it, so I don't care, that Dingdong rings my chimes? Sounds like me, too. I don't know what the answer is...tracking (sigh!), stopping immediately and change your activity (another sigh!)?? Trouble is we all know what to do, so why don't we do it? Deprivation?? I'll bet that has something to do with it. I like this statement: "There are no forbidden foods." I try to go with that and try to eat a really well balanced diet on the days I don't have attitude (grins). I gotta figure out why I have attitude (hmmmmm).

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THEIS58 7/17/2012 2:29PM

    keep at it!

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DODO371 7/17/2012 12:49PM

  emoticon emoticon

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