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    SPARKLEPIE   10,075
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Time for plan evaluation (get ready this is a long one)

Monday, June 18, 2012

Well this journey has certainly changed me...and I am not done yet...

I feel that one of the things I have held onto during this is that sharing, with no filter is one of the best ways to let go, process, step back and then plan when struggles in journey of change come up. You know we will all have success, we will all have set back, we will all have to change our personal programs as we change, life changes, circumstances change... and well I feel such a responsibility to share my journey with people. This is perhaps because I never thought of myself as someone concerned with being fit. And still today I feel my perspective as far as how far I take this is realistic to long term changes without becoming obsessive.. (I've seen some poeple become obbsessed and I don't think replacing food addication with fitness addiction is any way to lasting wellness. And here seems a perfect time to insert the word balance.

So, the journey thus far... Since January I have lost 55 pounds, which is just ever so slighty over 2 pounds per week (so slight it hardly matters so I don't think it falls into the "rapid" line not to cross. I have changed my relatonship with food in a healthy way..enjoying it, using it to feed my body and even though I still indulge one or twice a week it is controlled and not emotional..just enjoyment. I have starting getting in fitness time... and found I have a real passion for working up a low impact sweat. I always thought fitness had to be complicated, come from a gym or sport...I always thought fitness was reserved for skinny people with extreme cordination, muscles, and those just born with that "sporty" gene I've always lacked. And well non of this is true... I am fit (well on my way to getting there) and better yet... I love being fit and the process to getting there. I just had to find what worked...and it is working. I have even considered finding out how to get a group fitness certification to consider teaching others how easy walking at home and outside can be the launch pad to taking on bigger fitness like weight training, pilates and kickboxing...

So here in the middle of the month of June, also the middle of the year...this year 2012..my journey to a better me... I have had to reevalute my program due to my hair loss which I can only see to contribue to a possible misscalcuation in how much I need to be eating...

So, the loss seems scary and it's definately thinning, but it is not at a point anyone but me and my hairdresser can really tell (thank goodness for good hair to start with)...and being a planner... I have already found a nice clip in hair piece for thinning if it gets too bad while I work to find the cause (if not food-- I do not think I have been getting enough complete protein. beans need additional items to make them complete , who knew? and even if not I've only been at roughly 40g per day and it looks like based on an average from 5 internet sources I should be in the 70-80g range) and start the process to restore.....

Insert side story: I was at dinner Saturday with friends, and one asked me how much more I wanted to lose... and I said well I set my goal at 180 so that another 16 pounds. She asked if I really felt I needed to...and you know I got to thinking.... At 196 now I am happier now than EVER before... and yes, I suppose if I stopeed trying to lose, and just maintained I'd be ok... but I still feel like I need to hit 180 because 1) It's my goal. 2) It puts be at the last stop in the overweight catagory 3) I will be a comfortable size 12-14. But this conversation did spark something for me... since I am happy now, and I am having a possible side effect of hair loss from weight loss.. perhaps a revamp of my program... taking the last 16 pounds a little slower would be a good thing.

Keep in mind I never set out to lose 2 pounds per week, this is just how it happened, my average. I did not get extreme, I rested when needed, I indulged...nd I just let the loss take it's own course... but I'm going to redo this and steer the wheel a bit differently for the last 16 pounds.

Food:
I am adding back in approx. 150-350 calories. I have been using a makeshift ww points system just for ease and will still use that but I am going to focus a little more on what I use the points for. I am going to get in more complete protein starting NOW in hopes this truly is the issue with my hair... (lack of protein paired with a weight loss of 20% my origial weight). Again while not rapid it does appear from support, online searching and recommendation that indeed the loss of weight eventhough not techincally rapid, has still shocked my body... (funny shocked my brain too :) !) I am going to still indulge on Saturday's but a little less to help the fact that during the week I'll be eating more.

Fitness: Actually I'm going to cut back a little here as well. Number one it is going to be 105-115 from now until around September/October so this heat in my mind is not healthly to be overdoing it fitness wise. I am going to take this time to focus on calming fitness like yoga and pilates (at home) to reconnect myself. I will still keep up with my walking and weights but I'm going to allow for many breaks and and even lower impact. Since I'll be stopping my commute starting next week, I will still shoot to hit a zumba class at least once to try it ad if it's something I like I will likely go ahead and add it to the mix for the summer to start.

My Hope: I hope that the loss will continue will this plan. If it does not I will need to hit the drawing board again. I have adjusted my goal weight/time tracker to lose .75 per week which hope will keep me focused and help to restore my hair.

Connecting to me: I am also going to use this time to focus on some goals that are not weight related since afterall this 2012 journey is to a better me...and I know there are other "things" I can and need to work on...

I feel strong this morning, hopeful and in control. I feel thankful for sparkpeople and all those here who say I inspire and help them... I suppose this is in turn why I share..because I feel so touched that my process, my journey, that I am helping others... wow how amazing is that.

So let me say this in closing... this is a journey.. you see this senitmate on just about every sp page and blog from just about every sparky... but don't forget for one minute that it really is.
It's easy to skim that work... it envokes a sence of light and transformation, a shared vision... but make not mistake.. these are personal and finding your path is key. And every journey, be it mental, emotional, weight, travel, occupational or spiritual... every journey has hills, valleys, lows, storms, thunder, troubles and joy... the journey should be colorful... filled with new explorations... new revelation... uncover everything on your journey, leave no stone unturned. It is not enough to simply walk the path of the journey, you kinda got to dig around, flip up a rock to see what's under it, get off a little but don't loss your way back, leave crumbs for others to follow should they wish. Stop for a while and look at the path's surrounding before hiking the next hill and remember there is actually no finsih line... the path has no end... the journey does not conclude with picking up your suitcase at baggage claim... the journey is instead one where you shed your baggage and travel light... travel enlightened.. and simply continue to travel for the rest of your life...



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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WENDYSPARKS 6/24/2012 5:22AM

    Congratulations on the weight loss...

Wendy emoticon

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EVER-HOPEFUL 6/24/2012 2:26AM

    love this blog love.this is your journey and as you say though there is many common grounds it is still indvidual and we all have to find what works for us.goodluck on picking the right road for you. emoticon

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WIFEALF 6/19/2012 5:10PM

    You can do this..Keep it up you are doing great

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KOSHKALET 6/19/2012 3:25AM

    Superb thinking/readjusting your goal. Way to stay flexible and put your health and your well-being first (not just "the weight loss")!

Ya know, it didn't even occur to me to think about "complete" protein thing - but yeah, that would make a big difference!

Also, one thing about Zumba class - it can vary a *lot* from teacher to teacher - so if you don't like this teacher, there may be another one that is better for you...

So thrilled with all the incredible work you are doing for yourself - inside and out!

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BLUE42DOWN 6/18/2012 4:02PM

    emoticon

Hope the higher protein and reworking your plan help with the hair and keep you smoothly on track!

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GOOSIEMOON 6/18/2012 10:32AM

    Sounds like you have a good plan.

Keep up the good work!

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