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    ANJII7   13,969
10,000-14,999 SparkPoints

Honesty can be ugly

Sunday, June 17, 2012

I am having a BLAH day.
It's been quite a long while since I have felt this bad about myself, dwelling on how bad I look, I fat I am, how slow I am, how lazy I am. I can't say exactly where it's coming from though the 15 pounds I've gained this year is likely part of the problem. It's hard to admit that I am in the process of failing when I worked so hard to win. And even worse I feel so out of control that I'm not moving the ship back toward success. I just feel like I'm going down with it.
I don't want to sit here and just be negative because I really try to avoid being that person. I'm crying in my house and probably going to retire early because I just can't handle being sad any more today. I may not deserve it but please lift me in your good juju tonight, I hope to see some success this week and feel like I'm back in a good place.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
MARIO432 7/2/2012 12:51AM

    Hope things are going better for you.

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SPARKLISE 6/23/2012 9:15PM

    Just read this and I'm sorry you're feeling so down! emoticon
Try being more active-that sometimes help with being depressed. emoticon
Focus on what you can do and going ahead a little at a time!
emoticon emoticon

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KATHIERAE 6/18/2012 2:44PM

    Wow, Sunday was a day for ugly honesty for me too. I have regained too and just finally feel like I really do need to stop that upward trend. I don't have control either, over ANYTHING and I guess that's ok. Life is in God's hands and that's a pretty good place to be! That being said, it IS up to me to lift the fork, or not. I need to remember that tomorrow there will be food, not just today, so I do NOT have to eat it all today!

Let's do this together, sister! Baby steps for sure, but steps just the same... emoticon

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LISA01605 6/18/2012 8:02AM

    I hope you are feeling better today! I have found myself in the same place from time to time. I have times when I am filled with motivation and drive and then other times when I feel like I am barely keeping my head above water. I think it is all just part of living. The good and the bad. I hope the tide turns for you soon.

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TRIANGLE-WOMAN 6/18/2012 6:36AM

    ♥ .* ) ..*) -::-
(. ;..♥ Sprinkling about ♥.*)
♥.*-::-. ;..♥ -::-
♥ .* even more of that.*) -::-
♥.*-::-. ;..♥ -::-
(. ;..♥ positive juju dust♥.*)
♥.*-::-. ;..♥ -::-
)) -::-
. .))
((. .. You are worthy of continual joyous growth ..'))-::-
-::- ((.*

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ANJII7 6/18/2012 12:28AM

    Thank you.

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BLESSED2BEME 6/17/2012 11:42PM

    I will be praying for you along with that juju. I love the comment here about how do you eat a whole elephant? One bite at a time. So true! One step at a time you can turn this around.

Tell yourself that you deserve to work towards better health. Tell you support system (the humans in your personal life) that you need them to work with you.

I hope you get good rest, wake up tomorrow and start your day off with a positive thought about where you can take your journey. I know for me that spending more time here on sp reading other peoples' blogs and participating in stuff here helps me to stay grounded and focused.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HAPPYSOUL91 6/17/2012 10:22PM

    Remember that old line "how do you eat a whole elephant" bite at a time. This is what you need to do when you feel this way. Start with 1 thing and do it, build from there. Tomorrow is another day, make it count

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CATS_MEOW_0911 6/17/2012 10:11PM

    Of course you deserve some positive juju--I hope tomorrow is better for you and that you realize that all of those things you though about yourself are completely false.


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