Sunday, June 17, 2012
I am having a BLAH day.
It's been quite a long while since I have felt this bad about myself, dwelling on how bad I look, I fat I am, how slow I am, how lazy I am. I can't say exactly where it's coming from though the 15 pounds I've gained this year is likely part of the problem. It's hard to admit that I am in the process of failing when I worked so hard to win. And even worse I feel so out of control that I'm not moving the ship back toward success. I just feel like I'm going down with it.
I don't want to sit here and just be negative because I really try to avoid being that person. I'm crying in my house and probably going to retire early because I just can't handle being sad any more today. I may not deserve it but please lift me in your good juju tonight, I hope to see some success this week and feel like I'm back in a good place.