Sunday, June 17, 2012
So I've been playing around a little on the site, not fully committed just getting the hang of it again. This week though I've been thinking a lot about things and I realized some things that will help motivate me.
1. Since we live in an apartment and don't have a pool, the only swimming option for my little one is either in public or at a friends house. This leaves me in a situation because I don't want my baby to miss out on all the fun because Mommy doesn't like people seeing her in a bathing suit.
2. I found the perfect Maxi dress for my brother's wedding but I'm insecure wearing it because I hate my ankles and my arms...I can't let my weight ruin a very special time. (makes matters worse that my sister in law's friends are all skinny pretty girls who look great in anything. One of them teaches pilates.
3. I want to be able to put on a really nice dress and some nice shoes and not feel like an old lady. Not even 40 yet and all the styles I find in my size are WAY too old for me.
4. I want to feel attractive to my husband. (NOT elaborating about that on this site)
5. Water parks and amusement parks (falls in with #1 but I also HATE wearing shorts.)
I would love to be able to shop at more stores and try nicer things but there are some stores that just don't carry my size because I'm so heavy. That's a low feeling. Its even worse when your 8 year old stepchild points out to you that you're big (she made a point to mention that she didn't use the "f" word, fat, not the curse word.)
I know it will take at least a couple years to reach my final goal but I can't go on like this. and I don't want my 2 year old to be embarrassed by her fat mommy.