OK - So I am writing this down with the idea that saying it out loud will help me process my feelings so I can put them aside and live life the way I should - with love and with joy and with gusto.

2 weeks ago a friend from many years ago lost her 37 year old husband very suddenly and unexpectedly. She is a widow at 38 with 2 very young children.

Yesterday I found out that a friend from the gym lost her husband last week. I noticed she was absent for the past few months and I tried calling her, but never got an answer. She is a very private person and did not want any of us to know or attend the services.

My husband will turn 60 in a few months. I love him with all my heart, soul and being. He takes meds for high blood pressure and high cholesterol, does not eat as healthfully as he should, works in the sun all day every day without SPF. I worry about him and I worry about me without him. It scares me spitless.

I know we can't go through life thinking "what if" and I really don't. It's just that recent events have brought these thoughts and feelings to the surface. So - while they are here I will use them to my advantage - double checking our retirement plans and insurance coverage and perhaps looking into some pre-need arrangements for the 2 of us.

OK - a plan in place, action to be taken next week - life to be lived and enjoyed today and each and every day we are lucky and blessed enough to walked upon this earth with people we love and who love us.

Today is Father's Day and while I will pray for those who have suffered losses, I will also appreciate the fact that I get THIS Father's Day with my darling husband.

I Love you Brad and Thank you for being the best part of my life and bringing me all the love and happiness that comes with you and our 3 kids and 5 grand kids.