Sunday, June 17, 2012
Happy Father's Day to all the wonderful dad's out there!!!
Yesterday my parents came over, it's becoming a ritual of them visiting on Saturday's. If you have every followed my blogs you know that my parents ( mom especially) hasn't always been the nicest ).
I made extra Spaghetti because I know that's my dad's favorite and knew they'd end up here as they have no where else to go. The kids they treated like gods have no use for them now that they are old (mom 89 yrs old, dad 86 yrs old).
Both can barely walk and use walkers , my dad has really gone down hill since almost dying last September and my brother's have no use for them anymore , so now the least favorite child is the one they come visit.
They enjoy sitting in my garden and just watching the birds and just getting the fresh air, they live in a basement apartment and my nephew is a horror to them , but yet you can't say anything wrong about him. My nephew uses them especially my dad for paying all of his bills and doesn't even ask if they need any help with groceries (buying it for them as they have a tough time getting around). Oh ya his wife works at a grocery store and so does one of my brothers that lives a block away!
They try to do shopping on their own but it's difficult for them and since I'm not allowed at the house I can't or hubby can't do it for them.
They've been coming over and I've been sending my son out with my dad and he helps him (I'm always hurting from Lyme and Fibromyalgia).
I don't mind them coming over, it's just odd that they come to me now after years of mental abuse more my mom then anything, dad I fought for him to live in September he was literally on his death bed and I know it was my husband and I that saved him after being on a respirator for 16 days!
We're getting closer, I look at these two people that have caused so much pain in my life now looking so frail and I just feel a sadness inside.
To get close to them now when I know they don't have much time left in life is tough and I know what has now become a routine of Saturdays in the garden won't last years with their age and health issues.
I think when they do end up passing I'll feel it more because of this new routine, I have to be able to look at myself in the mirror when they do end up passing. I want to show my son that after all the hell they've put me thru that they are still my parents and sometimes you have to put feelings aside (I'll be old one day).
Maybe this is how it was always suppose to be, us not being close and then at the end of their lives I'm the one they turn to for peace and beauty at the end, just by having someone to listen to old stories that have been heard 100's of times before, someone that cares enough to make them dinner and shows them the love I never got .
I know I'm a better parent to my son have always had his back, shown him love and just adored him his whole life.
He asks why I'm so nice to them when they've treated me like crap my whole life (he's seen a lot ) I tell him someday that's going to be your dad and I . I hope that you'll show us the same respect and love that I'm doing . I tell him that I want a clear conscious when they do pass, knowing that at least on Saturdays in the summer they had a little happiness with there visits in the garden and being able to see you ( they adore my son at least).
I tell him everyone gets old and someday that will not only be me, but someday that will be you and I'm teaching you a lesson in love.