Friday, June 15, 2012
This summer is starting out very stressful for me.
On Memorial Day weekend my husband was hospitalized with chest pain and other heart attack symptoms. After having a cardiac cath we found out that his heart was healthy and that the pain was probably due to a viral inflammation or Esophageal spasm, We felt blessed to know that he had no blockages or plaque buildup but the experience was scary.
Now we are facing fire at our beloved cabin. I can't express how that feels. We know we were lucky to be evacuated early, but every day we watch the fire grow closer. They have put a daily infrared aerial picture on the fire web site and we have watched the fire move toward our cabin. Yesterday the "hot spot" ie flames were 500 feet from the cabin. I was in shock. I had really denied the fact that we could actually lose the mountain retreat I love. DH, the animals, and I feel an utter sense of release, relaxation and joy when we go there. I just didn't want to accept the fact we could lose it.
Yesterday I was filled with anxiety and trepidation. I went on my usual Thursday walk with a friend, but we had to walk around the mall because of the smoke in the air. We walked fast and I talked faster! Much of my anxiety diminished. I spent the rest of the day with another friend who is fighting pancreatic cancer and we shopped for hiking gear for her. She is in remission and is planning to hike one of the Colorado 14 ers (14,000 feet elevation mountains) in August. We have been hiking a couple of times a week to help her prepare. She is the most incredible woman and has faith, spirit, joy and love of life. Yesterday, she let me talk and express my fears and she shared some of her approaches and joys. What a blessing. My anxiety changed to gratitude and joy! I am blessed to have had my cabin, whatever happens, and more blessed to have the friends I have.
On a secondary note, because my DHs blood work showed a pre diabetic tendency I have been looking into Diabetic Diets and have greatly modified my carb, fat, protein proportions to try and help him and lo and behold I have lost a pesky 5 pounds in a week!
Life's lessons are hard but full of peace and joy if you embrace them rather than run away from them with food.
Our cabin bf (before fire)