Thursday, June 14, 2012
Today was my first workout without my workout buddy, I won't lie, I was a bit reluctant to press play! As soon as the warm up was finished, I resigned myself to my fate and got on with it.
I felt like physically I gave it my best but mentally I felt weak, didn't feel the usual drive and determination today as I had in previous days. I burned a few calories less than usual but there's nothing to do but chalk it up as an off day and try better tomorrow.
I've been thinking a lot about some of the relationships I've had and in particular the friendships that I chose to walk away from. In my loneliness in the past few years I held onto relationships that just didn't make sense, I was friends with people with completely different mindsets and I chose to feel inferior to them. I gave into the pressure and found myself in competition with them and in games I really didn't want any part in.
This weight loss journey has really helped center myself. I don't want to keep up with the Joneses. Things don't interest me, status doesn't interest me, I don't want to be cool or popular, all I want from life is to experience it and give back with my own special talents. A year ago I felt like I was drowning in other peoples opinions and expectations, today it feels like that was another world. As I start rebuilding my health I'm building my own world with my own opinions and expectations. It's starting to feel good to be me!