Wednesday, June 13, 2012
I pride myself on being a positive thinking women. Usually very up beat.
There was a time that I wasn't. During my most morbidly obese years, I had lost hope. Negativity , doubt, and despair had found a home with in me. I had no positive thoughts, hopes, desires for a better life. I had given up, I was accepting my fate. I was worn down, no more fight left.
Then I was given a second chance. A life line was thrown my way, I had the good sense to grab it and hang on for dear life, for I really wanted to be normal again..
I didn't want to die an obese 350 lbs or more women. My doctor had told me I probably had a couple of years left in the state I was in.
I wanted to live.
I knew I had to find the old me. The girl who excelled in school. Who was always challenging herself to do more , be better, come out ahead.
The women who created a business out of nothing but an idea.
The women who let nothing stand in her way.
That women who was not afraid of going it alone, making a home for her family.
That positive, believe you can and you will women, was she still within me?
Time would tell.
I knew the success of any change is in the mind. Believe it strong enough, don't doubt your self.
That always worked for me before. It will work for me again. For this time I was fighting for my life.
There is no time for excuses. No time for "I'll do it tomorrow". It has got to be now.
Change how I look at food. How I think about food. What role does food have in my life.?
It didn't happen over night, it took me few months of trial and error. , but I got my positive attitude back. I was determined to do the best I have ever done at anything.
I felt driven, I felt like the old me, the women who didn't let anyone or anything stand in her way.
Time did tell the story:
Two years later, some 200 pounds lighter, very fit and healthy , the women I was meant to be has emerged.
I start each day out with meditation. I believe in positive energy. I believe we all have the capability to project this energy , but sometimes negativity seeps in , usually when we are in a stressed state and drains our positive energy. Leaving us feeling fractured, empty, a void that needs to be filled.
We can continue on in this state or we can do something about it.
But sometimes we don't know what to do, or how to change the way we feel, or what is happening in our lives.
Even I , who always wants to feel positive and refuses to let negative people or thoughts into my life. I have had moments when I feel that darkness , that negativity.
This past Monday was one of those days.
I have been under some stress lately with carpel tunnel surgery. The recovery takes energy, and leaves one tired, venerable .
My daughter has had some medical issues. Suffered a migraine induced stroke on Friday night. It leaves one incapacitated like a stroke, but it's not permanent damage.
She had some loss of feeling in left side and face. The doctor checked her out and explained the reason and the why, and later she was feeling better..
But Monday morning she woke up to the same numbness and husband rushed her to the doctors . He sent her to Portland for more extensive tests.
Of course Monday morning I was very concerned about her.
My business was undergoing some glitches and needed my attention.
It seemed when I walked in my office and started getting the calls and facing the problems, the illness's , I felt over whelmed. That usually doesn't happen with me.
I sat back and closed my eyes took a deep breath and tried to meditate.
I didn't seem to be doing any good..
I felt like going back into the safety of my bedroom, crawling into bed, pulling the covers up and going to sleep. Maybe I would wake up later and everything would be fine.
But instead I logged on to my computer and went to my e-mail.
There I saw a comment had been left on my Spark page. I clicked it on .
There I read a lovely message from June a Spark friend. Talking about our Grandson's and wishing me a nice Monday.
That was lovely . I need that,
I went back to my e mail. There I saw someone had sent me a goodie.
I went to check it out. It was a bear hug from Princess, wishing me a nice day..
Now I am smiling. Feeling so much better.
Through the virtual world of Spark, two women are giving me the friendship, and warmth and inspiring me to shake off that negative, empty feeling that was about to engulf me.
I later went on to read another message from a new friend who said I inspired her , and she need that.
Well I got back to her and told her and Princess, and June that they inspired me.
That's what Spark is all about.
It's a place where we can get support not just on how we eat or what we do for fitness, but in the friendship we give each other.
When we reach out , even in the simplest form of checking" I like" on our friends feed, it is saying that someone out there cares.
That is why Spark is so important in my life.
I have met some wonderful caring friends, always ready with a good well wish or caring message.
You invigorate me. We are all in this together. We might come from different walks of life. But the belief that we can live healthy and fit lives has drawn us together.
And that belief is real...WE CAN.
With all of us pulling together we will over come obstacles and come out stronger.
There is power in numbers.
Being on Spark, means you are never alone.
You always have the support and encouragement you need to achieve your goals.
But first you have to clear your mind of any negative thoughts and think positive.
Be positive, believe you can and you will.
Thought for today,"Instead of giving myself reasons why I can't, I give myself reasons why I can.".
Peace and Love,
PS. My daughter is doing much better, should be no lingering damage from the "stroke".
My Great Grandson, Jadyn, who had the heart transplant at 18 months is back in the hospital. He had been doing so well, But he is in a coma . We are praying that he over comes this like he has all the other crisis. He is in Gods hand .