I love it when the hubs excuses me from the gallery to attend to important stuff here at home. "No sense of us both sitting here in HEAT misery" he said..."go on home and get started on the monthly roll up early."
"Okay sweet man"...I reply and hurriedly rush to the car before he has the chance to change his mind.
So here I am home safe in my lovely cool house and before I jump into the paperwork...a job I procrastinate at as LONG as humanly possible
I'll steal a few minutes of "me time" to blog.
I LOVE to blog. It's my all time stress reliever...and although I know it's completely OUT THERE for anyone and everyone on planet earth to review...I frankly don't give a damn darling...in fact I think if more people were open in expressing themselves..truthfully that is...we wouldn't be stuffing our emotions with unhealthy eating habits because we are afraid of being judged, unliked, misunderstood, or living in other false personas rather than our 'true' selves. Being REAL as they say... is completely freeing. When you have no one to impress other than yourself, it takes a heap of worry off your shoulders. I wish I would have made this self discovery...oh say...30 years ago.
But hey...that's just me. My fleshy friends have seen a 360 degree turnaround in my world perspective since we lost our beautiful son some 6 years ago. I used to be all about 'the image' now I'm all about the truth. Sometimes the two don't mix very well. When you no longer fear what ...shu...shush...'others MIGHT think'
you immediately lift about ...well...as I said...how much do you think the weight of the world might be..that colossal behemoth weight drops right off your shoulders. Now..ahem...if it would just drop of my mid-section!
The change in how I see the world and those in it... was QUITE the adjustment for me...I was the MOST people pleasing, nothing less than PERFECT..."look at me...and ALL my accomplishments...and while your at it...take a gander at all my STUFF ..because all of these amazing possessions surely validate how truly awesome I am right? Right???...first truthful answer I ever faced...WRONG! It's the people in your world and the good that you do for those people that is the mark of success. Took me a LONG time to realize that...but I now have and at least my ENTIRE time here on planet earth isn't TOTALLY a waste.
Now I blog about losing our house and our valiant fight to save it. My less than stellar weight loss battle, and I do admit that my child actually DID pass away from drug abuse. So many parents just won't go public with that..it's to shameful for them and I don't blame them one little bit. But if they keep this information undercover they really never get to the point of helping others who might be able to save THEIR children. You will never be able to help others when you can't...or won't... face the truth about yourself and your own situation.
I'm the first to tell you the cold unvarnished truth about some things can be pretty humiliating, it's down right embarrassing to admit that I fell short as a parent...and couldn't see or if I DID see certain signs that our beautiful Josh was struggling it was because I was in FULL fledged DENIAL...and that was because it might hurt MY image with my friends...or most likely my "I'm perfect..therefore my CHILD is perfect" self distortion. I'm telling you this is the biggest problem with parents today when it comes to their children and that child's natural curiosity with drug experimentation. I'm here to share this painfully hard earned lesson with anyone who might care to learn from my own sorrowful journey. it's easier now to look back and share seeing where I was before. Now after losing my most valuable possession in this world..my cherished son... I have no choice other than to see where I was back then looking though the wide open wounded eyes that a child's death before his time leaves with a parent. Of course back then...I'd NEVER have been able share some of the things I now share openly AND...to BLOG about it...and send it out into the universe...forget it!!
But what a difference a day makes...ESPECIALLY...when it's the day you lost your child. And you most likely lost him due to your own inability to face the truth. The truth is... drugs are running rampant in this world..and our children are dropping like fly's because they have SO much peer pressure to escape... and SO many expectations of perfection. They double down on the look at me...and all I have syndrome. I'm just sayin.... I'm here to keep it real.
What a message. But it's a message of love. If you are a parent know your child, know his friends, know his friends friends...if you don't like what you see..take action. You are the protector..YOU are your child's anchor, you are the doorkeeper. I took too much time away from my parent duties chasing my business duties..and of course my impossible...I'm perfect therefore my child is perfect also rhetoric. We Americans think that once our children reach age 18 they are adults...we are SO wrong. Their ability to reason consequences against actions doesn't even mature until they are in their 30's. We should realize this and also understand that our young adult children (Josh was 22) sometimes need us and our good judgement EVEN more at that young adult stage in the upside world they walk through.
Okay...big deep long breathe of truth...and nothing but the truth sigh...
Your reward for slogging through the above...
Last night I made fresh spinach. I always love to jazz my veggies up so this was pretty yummy.
FRESH SPINACH POP~EYE STYLE...WITH A TWIST
Saute some onion and garlic in EVOO. Add about 2 T of sun dried tomatoes.
Throw in vast amounts of fresh spinach and let it cook down. Remember you will need 4 x more spinach then you ever think you will because it cooks down to zilch.
Once the spinach wilts down throw in about 1 T of pomegranate balsamic vinegar. Let it steam in for a few minutes with the pan covered. If you don't have pomegranate vinegar use apple cider vinegar and sweeten it up with some fresh tart cherry juice (VERY HEALTHY) or even add a t of natural jelly or jam...or some agave. Whatever is a little sweet. It's sooo good.
Whoop da! Enjoy...even Pop~eye would love this dish!