Well, some unexpected expenses came up and ate up the money just short of getting the bed (thanks, car). But the mattress store is having a big sale, so maybe I can afford something this paycheck. I'm going to have to take a look. But I am loving the new chair and side table, and all the kitchen goodies! Something will work out.

I am SO tired tonight. I barely slept last night (I have no clue why), and today I cleared over 100 items off the monthly worklist BEFORE lunch (spent the afternoon on finishing the paperwork). I'm so far ahead of where I'm supposed to be, it's downright sick. I'm going to ask for July 2 and 3 off (making a five day holiday weekend), but I don't know if I'll get it. One coworker is on medical leave and another has vacation time scheduled then, so we'll see.

I'm having to fight some bad feelings right now. I haven't lost any weight in a long time (my eating downright sucks), and I barely exercise due to the exhaustion and strain on my legs. I know nothing in my life will improve until I do, but it's like I'm clinging to the old patterns, especially right now while I'm trying to clean my apartment and upgrade my living situation.

I felt seriously stupid Sunday night watching Next Food Network Star (those who don't follow Food Network can skip this paragraph). There are three teams of contestants, each with a FN mentor. Bobby is one of them, as are Giada DeLaurentiis and Alton Brown. I know from the years I've watched (and adored) him that Bobby wears his heart on his sleeve. Much as I've always liked Alton for his quirky humor and obvious intelligence, I never thought of him as particularly warm. During this competition, he's shown he's not afraid to embrace someone or to shed tears openly. Sunday night I found myself in tears right along with him. Did I say I liked him? I love him. He's totally got a place in my heart. And I feel really dumb because of it. Arthur keeps telling me they're just images on a screen. Much as I love and respect Arthur, this time I don't agree with him.

I need dinner. And I've probably yammered long enough.