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Another Setback

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

So, I finally decided to come off of my vacation of over-eating unhealthy food and being lazy and met another setback. Apparently, while turning over in my sleep I started to rip/pull a muscle in my abdomen. I was sore but able to still do what needed to be done. Did my powerwalk for 30 minutes completing two miles to the Biggest Loser Powerwalk video and my eating wasnt so bad. Then while sitting in a chair in front of the computer I turned in a way that was akward and felt a horrible ripping sensation in my abdomen about 2 to 3 inches to left of my belly button and an inch upward. The pain made me feel the need to vomit. The pain then turned to a hotness in my muscle. It really scared me. I was so sore and it hurt to lay a certain way or to even move. My husband took a vacation day to stay with me and the kids and to help me if I needed to go to the ER. It finally started feeling better and I realized that I had pulled a muscle in my abdomen. At that point I was afraid to move because I did not want to feel that pain again. This happened on Friday night. Today is Tuesday and the pain is gone but still I can tell the muscle is tender and a little sore. However, I am afraid to workout because I do not want to reinjure the muscle so now I will have to be careful about what I do. This has led to more overeating of unhealthy food. It kind of depresses me even though this is the time I should truly be working hard to eat healthy since I cant exercise. I keep making excuses for myself and I hate myself for it. I have to move forward somehow.

I guess what gets me the most about this whole incident is that for the past 3 months I have been doing workouts that really pushed me. Workouts that worked my core hard but I never pulled a muslce. No, I pulled a muscle rolling over in bed and sitting at the computer. What is wrong with this picture?! Just me I guess. Reminds me of Murphy's Law "What can go wrong, will go wrong." I just need to stop using this setback as a reason not to eat healthy since I cant workout because that is so backwards in thinking.

I also feel like alot of my eating right now is emotional and stress eating. I know the reason I pulled my abdominal muscle is because I'm so overweight and after 4 kids (all csections) my abdominal muscles have had enough of my crap and want more out of life. Then there is the worry of today and the next few weeks. I go in for a biopsy today of two moles that concern my doctor and that worry me. Since, my great-grandfather passed away from melanoma it has my Dad worried and concerned about me. Just alot on my mind right now. Guess I just need to develop the mindset that even though some things I cant change, eating healthy and losing weight is something I can.
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