So, I got new shoes. But I didn't get new shoes. Allow me to explain. Remember a LONG time ago, when I bought super fancy Asics Gels and was really excited about them? But then they hurt my feet so badly that I had to take them off and walk about .2 miles home barefoot?
Yeah, at that point, I thought I must have just REALLY chosen the wrong shoes. So, I threw them in the garage (BRAND NEW $100 Asics!) and started using my $8 walking shoes from Payless. Well, we all know I have issues with those now!
This morning, I got up for my run and had one of them on and suddenly remembered my Asics in the garage. I thought, "Hm...maybe one more try? If they still hurt...get new shoes this week, right?" [NOTE: The first and second time (i.e. ONLY times) I wore them, I can *guarantee* you my pace was WAY too fast and I was pushing too hard. It was RIGHT when I had started running back in May.]
So, I laced up and decided to give them a whirl.
They definitely felt different...but not bad. After my run, I had absolutely NO pain...and my healing blister wasn't even aggravated! WOO!!!
I was super tired this morning because I went to bed late, so I kinda slogged through the first mile (only 2 miles this morning - still recovering from 5k race).
EXACTLY halfway through my run, I paused my run app and found a text from a very dear SparkFriend:
SF: I'm worried about you.
ME: Why? Cuz I feel BLAH?
SF: Yeah...you seem to have lost your mojo. I am not loving your funk.
ME: My workout schedule has been all jacked up for two weeks...it has thrown me off. But I think it is past. Training schedule will be steady from here on out. Got my South Beach Phase 1 on (already lost 3 lbs)...and that dreadful time of month is over. Things are looking bright.
Now, don't worry SparkFriends...you might think she was a little harsh with me. But, she is a dear and trusted friend. And sometimes we need that little extra kick.
Another Sparky had commented on my motivation blog yesterday that she worried I was overtraining and getting burnt out. The truth is...I have cut back on my training (distances and times) AND was eating badly. Therefore, it was NOT burnout. But, that was super perceptive of her and if I had been overtraining, I would have thought deeply about ways to remedy that.
Nope...this time, it was pure and simple...I was slowly letting myself go. Just a little tiny bit at a time. But even a little slip can make a huge difference emotionally. You know?
In addition, another very close friend is going through some pretty rough stuff right now. This person usually motivates me a lot. Because of their emotional upheaval recently, I will admit...it's thrown me off a bit.
And this is a very important lesson. PLEASE HEAR THIS.
We can say it and read it again and again - our motivation comes from within. But, the truth is...on a site like SparkPeople, it's really easy to fall prey to a sort of "hero worship" of those members that REALLY inspire us.
The problem is...what happens when they disappear? Or let us down in some way? Or fall off the wagon? Even if THAT PERSON has preached to you over and over not to let circumstances or other people sway you in your health goals, it's difficult to keep focus. Especially when you care about them deeply...as a friend.
God forbid I EVER give up on myself. But, hear this...IF that horrible day came and you found me on a street corner mainlining Taco Bell (this is not beyond the realm of possibility...unfortunately)..
.this would not automatically give YOU a free pass to laziness and resignation.
As a SparkPeople Motivator, I do feel a certain sense of responsibility...to be honest with you, to be genuine and to keep going. And to keep inspiring. You can BET that YOU have pushed my butt out bed SO many mornings when I didn't feel like running. This is just the truth. I am very thankful for all of you. I feel so blessed to be able to help as many people as I can.
And I'm, oh, so glad that some of my closest SparkFriends feel the same responsibility to motivate me. Sometimes we need a little tough love. Do you know what I did right after that text exchange?
I ran the fastest half mile I've ever run and my body felt GREAT. When I got home, I texted my friend and said...