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    TIME4AMY   8,857
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From 75 pounds lost to 26...

Monday, June 11, 2012

Ok, I give in...I own it. Yes, that's right. I've gained back almost 50 lbs of the 75lbs that I lost last year. I could make excuses, but the fact is... there is not one excuse for it. It's simple. I made bad food choices, lacked the exercise, and somehow lost my strength to move forward. I've felt down on myself, cried about it, became angry, and gave into my cravings. I forgot how much I'm worth, watched myself gain and didn't take control, was angry at myself, and didn't say NO when given a choice. It is totally ME who allowed this to happen and will be only ME who can correct it.

I have looked back at my old pictures and wished I could turn the clock back. I have slowly slipped out of my size 22's to squeeze into 26's again. I remember how energetic I became, I remember how wonderful I was beginning to feel, but in reality, I have forgotten how wonderful it felt to DO SOMETHING about it. I could sit here and write pages of feelings, but they are all feelings that I've felt in the past. I've lost weight prior to this weight loss and have put it back on again...many times. I could sit back and say, "It's happening once again!", but I'm not going to let it slip on by so fast.

I've still got 26 lbs off and I need to embrace that. I'm not where I started, but I am at a starting over point. Change takes time and I think that each day that passed, I was continuing to wonder how long it would take to feel so eager to take this weight off, like I had at the beginning of this spark journey. Fact is, I'm not who I was then... I'm who I am now. That part of my journey changed me. It allowed me to realize that I have a self worth. I know that I can make remarkable changes and I know that the weight can return if I let it. I have all the tools to turn this around. I hate that I have to take off what I worked so hard to take off already, but it can happen again and that is the truth!

I don't have to read up on "what works for others", because I know what works for me. Tracking did indeed help me stay on track each day, but exercise kept me eager to see results. Healthy choices... and move move move! That worked for me. Having the strength to choose to have something healthy, instead of what put this weight back on. Using my knowledge to empower good choices, instead of ignoring the voice that says, "you shouldn't!"

I watched "The Biggest Loser" today and tears began to fall. I watched these amazing people work so hard and the results were similar to mine. I remembered being just as proud, feeling just as strong, looking just as beautiful, and it was all because of ME. It made me want to feel that again! I miss the old me. The me today doesn't even want to spend time out in the community or with friends, because I feel that I look awful. I think people must be like, "Wow, Amy put alot of weight back on...jeez!" Although, did I ever do this for any of them or any one else for that matter? NO! I did it for ME!

...and I'll do it again! WATCH ME!!!!!


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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAILYCHOICES 1/20/2014 9:11AM

    I can totally relate! I regained 52 of the 54 lbs that I had lost. I'm at my 2nd highest weight ever! I'm a complete emotional eater and this past year was very difficult for me. But I ended 2013 with a different mindset, determined to change not only the way I respond to my emotions (not with food) but also to make this a year of Transformation for me, inside and out. You did it once before, you can do it again! Have faith in yourself and be kind to yourself! You can do it!
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LETTINGGO85 8/12/2012 6:57PM

    I completely relate I have regained 34 lbs of the 50 lbs I lost last year and it can feel very overwhelming to see yourself slip back but the key is what we do today not what we did yesterday! We can do this! We did it once we can do it again feel free to reach out if you want an accountability buddy for weekly check ins.
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GONABFITCOWGIRL 6/14/2012 8:41PM

    its not unpopular for anyone to gain the weight you lost back, i've gained back almost half the weight i lost this fall. but keep your chin up and stay determined, you can do this!
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EVLOBOS310 6/14/2012 8:23PM

    I know how you feel. I've gained almost 30 lbs back of what I'd lost last year also. But we can do this! Back to tracking and exercising and we'll lose it all again and more! emoticon

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HEALTHYASHLEY 6/14/2012 8:16PM

    I regained 50 lbs and have just started over. I know exactly how you feel and we can both do this!

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-AIMIE- 6/14/2012 4:59PM

    emoticon

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VERTICALABRET 6/14/2012 11:55AM

    You can do this! *hugs*
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DEB0073 6/14/2012 11:18AM

    Amy, weight is just a number! Yes, would it be great to be back where you were. It would be wonderful. Just remember your friends and family don't see you for your weight. we see the wonderful person in side .

Comment edited on: 6/14/2012 11:53:28 AM

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SHERIO5 6/12/2012 10:43AM

    Oh, Amy! emoticon

Do it for you!!! I love hearing that you know what you need to do, what works for you, and you remember how good you felt, the energy, when you did it before. THAT's why you will do this!!!

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BD3269PM 6/12/2012 7:15AM

    You certainly can do this!! And we will all watch with pride as you do! Remember that you are worth it emoticon

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LOPEYP 6/12/2012 6:42AM

    emoticon Stay positive!

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DANCINCAJUN1 6/11/2012 11:01PM

    yes you will !! you go girl ! Roc
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MOM23ES 6/11/2012 10:52PM

    emoticon

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SHRINK_U 6/11/2012 9:19PM

    emoticon emoticon

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REDROSEMARIE 6/11/2012 7:54PM

    Stay strong, you will get back on track. Just keep remembering how good you felt and all the activities you could do. Don't give up, you can do it.
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BUBBLEJ1 6/11/2012 6:46PM

    You have done it before, you will do it again! Best of luck!

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CWHEATLEY 6/11/2012 6:31PM

    You can do this! You are awesome and it sounds like you have learned a lot through this process. Keep pushing!

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 6/11/2012 6:08PM

    It sucks that this happened, but have no doubt that you're going to do it again!

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ANDARI26 6/11/2012 5:46PM

    Oh hon, we wrote almost the same blog. Mine was on Friday. I did the SAME thing. It really is a crappy feeling and that makes it even harder to get up and do it again. I'm right there with you. I'm just getting back up and trying to lose the 30lbs I packed on in the last year after I had lost about 60. It can easily make for a self defeating attitude, but as you said, we did it once and we'll do it again. No problem. Good luck to you, I know you can do it. Cheers, and be well. On the good side, we did not wait until we gained all of it back to take action.

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PIXIEMOM13 6/11/2012 5:45PM

    Take pride. You owned it. And you've learned from it.
You aren't alone in regaining weight. BUT at least you didn't gain it all back and add some extra lbs on top of it! (Which is what I did way back when).

You know what works for you and you sound committed to the journey.

Cheering you on!

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LADYVOLSFAN1954 6/11/2012 5:43PM

    I'm rooting for you all the way!!!!!
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