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Tired of This.

Monday, June 11, 2012

I usually have something witty and cute to say about all of the things I'm going to do and all of the progress I will be making soon. Right now, I am over it. I am so over looking at myself in the mirror and seeing way more of myself than I need to. I am so over trying to motivate myself and looking for cute ways to do what I need to do. I am so over having a different excuse all of the time.

My husband is completely supportive and I am lucky enough that he will stay with the kids without being bothered by me doing something for myself for as long as I need. I am not taking advantage of the opportunity in front of me and I am sick of it. Usually I come on here, bang my frustrations out on the keyboard, close the window and then get on with my life like the blog never happened until I gain a few more pounds and get frustrated again. That ish is getting old, and I am over it, too.

Because of my weight, no matter what size I buy, my clothes are ill-fitting. A XXL doesn't look like it fits anyone correctly. Bra underwires pinch my arms. I am down to ONE pair of jeans I can wear without cutting into my ample flesh. This is beyond ridiculous. But it's my fault. No one did this to me but me. I could blame it on lots of things, but it all comes down to my lack of ability to see anything through. I always give up after a few days or weeks. Anything that takes diligence and willpower usually gets neglected after several days.

I want to be able to lift my arms and grab something off of a top shelf without my belly spilling out all over the place. I want to go to a waterpark with my girls and feel like I can get on a waterslide without getting stuck inside or got to an amusement park and not have to worry whether or not I will fit in the restraints that keep you from flying out into space. I am uncomfortable and unhappy. I have what I need to fix it, I just don't use it, and I blame it on other things.



Now, all of that being said, I do have everything I need, including support. There is no reason I can't do something about it. emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • v BLUE42DOWN

    It won't be fast, it won't be easy, but you are worth it! Your family deserves to have you be all that you can be.
    1503 days ago
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