Sunday, June 10, 2012
To whom it may concern,
I am officially uncomfortable in my own body!!!! I am dissapointed in myself and the choices that I have made. I realize that my weight and the emotional problems that result from it are my own fault however I have not found the motivation to change things.
Me and my boyfriend now have gym memberships and while he has attended almost everyday I have been like 4 times total.
Where is my motivation??? Am I not goal orientated, am I not driven by results? What is my problem. We have change our eating habits around but now I find myself sneaking junk food at work!!!!
I am sabotaging my self, what is wrong with me. When I look in the mirror I do not see the same girl that in my head, its like my inside and my outside don't match.
I am always soo tired and sluggish but I can get my behind up and go smoke (another habit I need to break).
I get at the most 5 hrs sleep a night and by the time I am off at 4, going to the gym is not appealing!!!
I want to change my view on myself but can't find the determination to do it. Am I a lost cause? Am I destined to be in this body that I am uncomfortable in? What will happen to my self esteem that is already quite lacking?