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Ups and Downs

Saturday, June 09, 2012

Went to the dentist. I have a cavity. Went and bought a candy bar and ate the whole thing.
What is wrong with me?
I realized in retrospect that candy is probably what caused the cavity in the first place.
Two, once I start eating candy I cant stop and that is all I want to eat.
I made it 4 nights not eating in bed at night and then Friday got all depressed and ate candy and chocolate and ate in bed. Okay, I did try to make a healthier choice by eating hummus and carrot sticks, but still.
And depressed because I only have one friend. Okay, maybe I have other friends but they don't call and they done invite me out to lunch or anything like that. It is because school ended and I work out of my home and have no social life at all.
I was taking a tai chi class. When my financial difficulties hit, I e-mailed the school to let them know I could not take class. The husband of my instructor (husband and wife team run the school) said he would forward my e-mail to my teacher, and she never returned my email. Since then I have reworked my budget and figured I could find the money to take class again, but now I don't want to go back there. Am I too sensitive or what?
Okay. I am NOT giving up. Already blew breakfast because I had chocolate and cream of what and raspberry jam for breakfast. I am resolved to do well the rest of the day.
I just do not understand where my brain goes when I go to the store and pick up the sugary thing and pay money for it. Sigh.
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