Friday, June 08, 2012
You know, sometimes God has a funny way of pushing a particular issue. In this case, God is letting me know once again that it's time to get up and lose the weight.
I just got a call from my fertility doctor's office. The woman told me that I was insulin resistant and that they would be starting me on Metformin right away. She said that I'm not diabetic but there's a good chance I could be in the future if I didn't lose some weight to stabilize my insulin levels.
The funniest part is that my primary care doctor just told me two weeks ago that my blood work was perfect. No diabetes and everything was functioning normally. But he didn't give me that sugary orange drink like my fertility doctor did. I kinda knew something was up because I became extremely fatigued right after I drank that stuff. I went out to my car and fell asleep.
Other than the insulin resistance, the woman at my fertility doctor's office said the rest of my results were within normal range. So there's that slap upside the head again.
Take it seriously!
Work harder to lose weight!
Stop making excuses!
I am afraid of getting diabetes. I don't want it. It was bad enough having the high blood pressure. And all of this is because of my weight. All of it. How many doctors have told me to just lose weight and everything will go back to normal? Have I done it yet? Nope.
I'm not going to sit here and beat myself up. There's no time for that. I keep telling myself to stop focusing on the initial hurtle. You know, that anxiety some of us get when it's time to exercise for the first time in a loooooong time. It's gonna hurt. I'm gonna feel sick. Wah, wah, wah. Excuse after excuse.
I don't even want to tell anybody. Especially not my mother and my boyfriend. I just don't want them to yell at me. They have been pushing me hard to get the weight off. I used to take it as criticism, but I see how wrong I've been about that. How wrong I've been about a lot of stuff.
Not trying to discount all the positive things I do, but it's not enough without the exercise. That's the thing. The eating is not a big thing. I can get that under control. I do enjoy exercising but I know those first few weeks are going to be a bitch and I'm dreading it.
But I'd rather be sore from working out than having to take medication as a diabetic.