Friday, June 08, 2012
Thank you to all of you who gave me support on my last blog. It really does help to know that I have people rooting for me. I was having such a rough day - triggered by that dratted scale. But I woke up the next day feeling a new resolve. Today will be 4 days of tracking & staying within ranges and 3 days of moderate to intense exercising. I'm feeling better and more focused.
I certainly think that the stress of the new job has played a large factor in the weight gain. But that stress is starting to decrease now. As I spend more time in the job, I become more comfortable. My office bully is behaving professionally towards me now and my boss is taking steps to improve the atmosphere of the office in general - like brining in an expert to give us a workshop on "critical conversations".
But seeing those numbers on the scale made me feel - quite literally - ill. It also gave me an extra dose of motivation to stop making excuses to myself. So once again, I'm taking a deep breathe and digging deeper and just doing it, dammit.
I'm heading out of town for work for the next two weeks. I'm a little concerned about how I'm going to manage with the food and exercise, so I'm starting to think of it now.
We're staying at a university campus, so I'm sure they have a gym with drop in hours nearby. If not, I can still do body weight exercises in my room and go for jogs around the campus. I have the mobile app on my phone for food and exercise tracking. I'll pack my exercise clothes and swim suit.
The company is providing lunches & snacks and reimbusing for breakfasts and dinners. I'm going to email the training coordinator tomorrow to let her know that I'm diabetic and need healthy food options. I'm going to pass on the breakfasts out and take my own pre-measured oatmeal blend instead. I'll stock the fridge in my unit with fresh fruit, veggies and lean protiens to snack on at night. I will choose the healthiest option on the menu at dinner.
I do have options. I can make the scale move in the other direction. I just have to remember that the power to decide really is mine. One of the things discussed in the communication workshop was that we tell ourselves stories. Sometimes the stories are about other people. Sometimes the stories are about ourselves. Often the stories aren't actually true. I'm telling myself untrue stories when I say I can't control my eating. I am the only one who decides what to put in my mouth.
Four days of deciding to stick to the plan. I tell myself that doing otherwise just isn't an option. End of. And that helps.