Thursday, June 07, 2012
No, seriously, my eye has been twitching for days...off and on anyhow. Honestly, the last time it twitched this much was Tuesday...which was the last time I swam. Maybe that means something, or maybe it doesn't.
Laps this morning in what I now have determined is a 25 meter pool (and if I'm wrong, I don't really give a crap *lol*). Just happy I got my butt out the door this AM to get it in. The pool in the morning is a joyous thing because I get it all to myself. I can't wait until my swimming workouts get a little longer, though, as I got to work this morning 20 minutes early. *facepalm* If you work a 10-hour-day, you don't want to add an extra 20 minutes onto it if not necessary, ya know?!
Today's Swim Workout:
100m warm-up, various strokes
4 x 100m, rest for 12 between 100s
4 x 50m, rest for 8 between 50s
4 x 25m, rest for 4 between 25s
50m cool down and a good long stretch
Total distance: 850m
Total time: about 25 minutes
I think I've finally hit my grove here and I'm really loving it. I even love that I smell like pool the entire rest of the day because of my morning swims. It's like taking a little badge along with me that says, "I Worked Out Today!" and it makes me feel happy and proud all day.
Only little sour bit this AM was that I got a cramp in my foot in my second to last workout lap. I stretched as much as I could in the pool but it followed me to the showers. Took my entire shower to work the stupid cramp out of my right foot, but I'm sure the stretching (both in the pool and in the shower) helped a lot. Maybe I need to stretch a little more before my swim. I do a bit, but probably not enough. It still doesn't feel like much of a workout, so it just seems strange to think of it in these terms and worry about stretches, warming up, cooling down, etc.
As for my food. *sigh* What can I say? Every single night this week I've fallen apart and binged a bit. This is either because my eating plan isn't working physically for my body and I get really hungry OR because I'm mentally a wreck. I have a feeling it might be both. Making a few MINOR adjustments this week and just calling this week another week of metabolism recovery. It shouldn't mean a huge gain on the scale, but I don't expect a loss either. Would be nice to get a little bit, but I'm not holding my breath. Besides, who is to say that any loss I do get isn't part of this up-down-up-down plateau I'm on?
FYI people - plateaus are HARD.
One month is not a plateau.
Talk to me after 2 months and I might be able to hear you.
Come to me when it's 6 months or more and we can cry together.
A half a year is a long time to stick with something you feel isn't working. (Even though you know it is, just not the way you want it to.)
I thought of going for a run when I got home last night. I had already walked to the gym at lunch and got in a quick ST workout during my lunch break, but I had heard it was National Running Day and I thought it might be nice. By the time I ate my dinner and had my little bingefest, I totally forgot. Actually, no, I remembered, and pushed the thought away and stuck my butt on the couch and didn't move. For whatever reason, I wasn't mentally up for a run last night. (I think I was afraid I wouldn't be able to or it would hurt and I'd be back to where I was again. Going to have to get over this fear eventually (read: Saturday), but for last night I crawled into a ball and pretended I didn't want to run.)
As for my ST yesterday?
I have no program or plan.
Basically because I wasn't sure what equipment they had at this gym.
So I just went over to wing it and pulled out some sets on a Lying Leg Press Machine (okay, this thing is weird...more squat than leg press...but a squat on your back - I couldn't lift as heavy as my leg press with legs in the air, but it felt like a great workout), Wide-Grip Lat Pulldowns, Ab Twist Machine, the two Hip Machines (you know what I'm talking about), and a few sets of Leg Extensions and Chest Presses. I'm a bit bummed that there is no squat rack at this gym, but I can work this for a bit and still get results, I know that.
Tomorrow is weigh in and measure day. Tomorrow will have been one week of trying. I did a lot of good this week, and some bad, but all this just means there is room for improvement. On the whole, I'd love to say my headspace is clearing up, but you can tell from yesterday's blog that it's really not...I'm just pushing through. I'm just hoping that if I stick to it for 8 full weeks, this plan will help me break the plateau. If not, I hate to say this, but I might be lost. I may take a month off and just let myself heal from the scars I've built up the past few months of hating my body for not doing what I'm trying to make it do. I might need some time to heal from feeling like a failure. And, let's face it, my body might just need a good long break to deal with itself so it can lose again. I'm not saying that's the plan. The plan right now is to stick to it these 8 weeks and see what happens...but I have "What if it still doesn't work?" in my head following me around daily.
Ending on a happy note -- my hairs are getting cut on Saturday! Yay! It's been since February and I'm ready to go back to short for summer (also because it will make putting my swim cap on that much easier! *lol*). Honestly, I'm mostly just looking forward to them thinning it out and straightening it (as I haven't had time to do this in MONTHS!).