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    HANNAH_CALM   17,868
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Ducked Out

Thursday, June 07, 2012

I turned off the social aspects of this site for a while, because I felt it wasn't helping me lose weight at all. I need to focus on my core values, and how I got to this place, and who I am. So I'm doing a lot of soul searching. And I expect it to take a while, because I'm not really good at it. I'm actually not feeling well, so that's part of the problem. But as most people who have been paying attention to me know, which is probably only like three people, I have lost my ID card and can't see a doctor. It's been lost since January, which has been an extremely long time for me. I really need to see a doctor, and it's been six months almost. So I'm frustrated with this, and I need to clean my room. The fact that I really am sick, though, is standing in the way. So I just move a few things at a time, we're not really getting anywhere. I just want to be alone at this point. I don't want to compare myself to others who are progressing faster than me in their weight loss. So, that why I skipped out!

What am I up to? Besides cleaning a little here and there... I've started walking everyday. It supposed to really help you lose weight, because it's a weight-bearing activity, I have to carry my own weight for a long time. It's helps you build muscle and stronger bones. I'm trying that for a month, walking an entire hour. Sometimes 90 minutes! Because I get bored, and I have to add to the walks. I'm hoping I will lose some weight now. I'm trying the walking for an entire month, and we'll see how that goes. Because I've been stuck at the same weight for a long time. Months! That's totally not working for me. I'm looking forward to being able to walk faster and faster. I can't wait to get to a doctor to get my asthma medicine, because that will really help with that. I need to start bringing my pedometer on my walks, I just remembered that this evening.

I also changed my page title, to more accurately represent what I'm really like. I'm not totally cheerful right now, even though I would like to be. That's too hard when you're always sick. So I dropped the "Positively Supercharged", and now it's "Positively Mindful". I'm trying to be calm in all situations. It's isn't always easy, but it really is more important than being like all about pursuing excitement or whatever. And that wasn't the point of it in the beginning, but people might take it that way. I'm more calm than that. Even though I do get in arguments sometimes, especially since I'm sick and irritable, I try to be mellow.



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