My Own Worst Enemy
Tuesday, June 05, 2012
It never ceases to amaze me how I view myself vs how others view me.
Case in point:
I haven't blogged about my half marathon because quite honestly I was ashamed. I was so looking forward to this event. I had done pretty well with training. I had talked my friends into signing up. It was going to be great. Well about a month or so before the half my plantar fasciatis kicked in again. But it didn't hurt on the walks only afterwards. I kept thinking it would hold off. Well it didn't.
On the day of the race I woke up and my foot was pretty tight. I did some stretching and just kept thinking it's only got to hold out one more day. Well it didn't agree. Miles 1-5 were great, Miles 5-9 were uncomfortable, Miles 9-13.1 were extremely painful. If a cab had driven by I probably would have asked for a ride... well probably not, but close. It sucked! So the bottom line is I did finish, I was slow, but I finished within the timeframe allowed, with 10 minutes to spare. I only finished 18 minutes after my friends whom I had walked with until mile 9. So why have I been looking at this as a failure? Everyone I talk to compliments me for having completed it at all.
Tonight I went into a Good Feet store to talk to them about orthotics just on a whim, had never even heard of the store. But I'm so tired of being in pain. Ever since the walk the pain has basically been a 24 hour event. So the salespeople and i were talking and the half came up and the salesman was like and you had PF during? And you finished? Wow you are a rockstar!
Why can't I feel that way??? Well I don't know how saying any of this is going to do that. I just wanted to put it down so that maybe I can start seeing myself how others do. I know how ridiculous it is to not realize I did a freaking Half Marathon. ME, who on November 19th, 2009 was a 1.5 pack a day smoker who weighed 253 lbs and who NEVER exercised, walked a HALF MARATHON.
I'm a damn rock star.