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Newly Issued Alcohol Warnings

Sunday, June 03, 2012

The American Board of Health has proposed that warning signs be placed on all alcohol bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of drinking a pint or two of any alcoholic beverage.

1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off a wreaking dead animal that is one hundred yards away.

2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.

3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to assault you

4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you really think of him.

6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.

7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Psycho Bob.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
SKMINNY 6/4/2012 11:18AM

    and another warning: washs eye goin toooo fassss osifer?

Comment edited on: 6/4/2012 11:18:41 AM

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ALICERIEGER 6/3/2012 1:42PM

    Love the warnings.

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RANDOM00B 6/3/2012 10:44AM

    I don't drink at all, but this just made me LOL, emoticon

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GRANDMA624 6/3/2012 10:26AM

  That's why I don't drink much anymore. No. 2 on the list was enough for me. emoticon I thought I could do the limbo. Could not go tooo low emoticon

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BEARGODDESS 6/3/2012 6:53AM

    emoticon emoticon

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GRANDMA_SANDY48 6/3/2012 12:54AM

    emoticon emoticon
Very good!

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_CYNDY55_ 6/3/2012 12:52AM

    emoticon emoticon
Glad to have stopped drinking alcohol 5 years ago emoticon emoticon more saying "thish" Ahahahaha-----!!!!!
Very Cool

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