Frustration and Transparency Pt. 1

Friday, June 01, 2012

This is the second day of going well over my calorie range (think 1,000+).

Yeah, I know.

It's the same old story. I really want something I think I shouldn't have. I eat said something, and thinking it better not to waste the guilt, eat like it's 1999. I see it happening. I know it's madness. But somehow, I surrender to the feeling. Every time.

Usually after an episode like this, I don't see the point of continuing. I don't see the point of my previous efforts. Don't see my progress as being significant enough to make up for these shortcomings. Don't see any reason not to give up.

But I have decided that this is it.

I will track my calories no matter what. I will start over after every meal. No matter what. I will do my 10 minutes a day, every day, no matter what. And I will learn how to eat in a way that nourishes and energizes no matter how damn long it takes.

So I guess, when you look at it like that, it ISN'T the same old story. It's a brand new one. One in which the big picture isn't overshadowed by close-ups of imperfections. A story that ends gloriously.
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    Retraining yourself to be a new you in better ways is hard and there is going to be plenty of dark days in the beginning but the key is to stick with it! I have days when I didn't do my workouts and then days where I ate more than necessary or days when I ate the right amount of calories but I then I ate too many wrong things to get them calories. I start over every morning hoping this day is better than the one before and I pray when it all gets to much and when its going well. I log in and I post and I try to figure out how I can keep winning at this. You can do it, but its going to have to be done without you beating yourself up and believing that you CAN do it each and every day even if that means starting over. Hang in there, it will get will see! emoticon emoticon
    2093 days ago
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