Friday, June 01, 2012
We get state of the union and state of the state addresses once a year. I felt it was time for some self-assessment. Where am I? How is it going?
On the one hand, I could say that things stink. I started March at about 310 pounds and was ready to knock out 10 pounds and a tad more to finally be under 300 by April. It's now June.
March and April were rough. Part of it I can explain; part I can't. But the plan has always been to just keep moving forward. I recovered some in May - got down to just under 308. And now I'm back to 317 to start this month. Part of that is the Memorial Day weekend. I find it frustrating that in a week where I eat about 1800 caloires per day I can lose well. And in a week where I eat 2500 calories per day, I gain a HUGE amount. I realize that adding in 700 calories extra per day is 4900 in a week. But that shouldn't make me gain 8 pounds. (Should it?)
It's true - a couple of weeks ago, I gained 8 pounds in one week. I lost them the next week. But since then, I've gained 5 back. All while eating around 2000 calories and working out at least 5 days per week.
I had 850 fitness minutes in May and at least 75% of the days were well within my calorie budget - probably more - and the net result for May is a gain of a pound and a half. (Okay, honesty time...I actually checked the days and I was within my calorie goals for 60% of the days...but still! A 300 pound woman who is that active should be losing in this situation. Of course...I did lose, I just put it back on.)
I don't get it, but it is what it is. I can't let it get me down. There are only two choices - give up or keep going. Obviously...I choose to keep going.
So that is the general plan - just keep going. One foot in front of the other. One meal/snack after another. I will shoot for a much higher number of days within my calorie goals - 60% really isn't great. That could certainly have something to do with it.
And I'm going to make every effort to NOT take a week off from exercise just because hormone week arrives. It really threw me for a loop last month - I felt terrible for the entire week. This month, I'm going to be proactive about it, and try to do some other form of exercise that week.
I'd like to try a spinning class someday, but am not sure if there is a weight limit.
This month is the challenge of my daughter's birthday. I'm not sure why that is such a challenge. Actually, strike that, I know EXACTLY why. It's the stress. The stress of making sure things go well for her to have a great day is what sends me into the "I don't have time to cook, I'll just eat whatever" mode. Last year on Memorial Day, I re-committed to taking care of myself after gaining back about 35 pounds. I did lose those pounds (and a few more) - losing 44 pounds since last Memorial Day. But I remember having a hard time around my daughter's birthday at the end of June. So that is something for me to combat, too.
I'm shooting for 1000 fitness minutes this month. If I don't take hormone week off, I should get there.
I would like if I didn't say that I really, really (REALLY!) want to be under 300 as soon as possible. Ideally by my 46th birthday in mid July. Not sure if I can make it, but I can certainly try.
I refuse to give up what I want most for what I want right now...or simply because I'm lazy, or some unhealthy food is placed in front of me.
So it seems I've come up with some goals for June:
Face the stress of "birthday week" without eating unhealthfully
Face "hormone week" head on and don't skip exercising that week
No more than 4 days over my calorie limit (one per week)
1000 fitness minutes
So the "state of me" is that I'm okay. I'm blessed. Lucky. Loved. Taking care of myself. Succeeding. Smiling. Proud. Motivated. Ready to kick June's butt.