Cutting losses and moving on
Friday, June 01, 2012
In September, the light of my life Mike passed away very unexpectedly from a massive heart attack. Since then I’ve had trouble picking myself up and getting back to some semblance of normal life. I over-estimated my ability to move on after a life changing event like this and only took a couple of days off from work. I went back - not wanting to stay home with my thoughts, memories, and reminders of times past.
Teaching the “challenging” classes I had this year kept my mind off my sorrow at first. From the beginning of the year, this was the school year from hell . My students were difficult, not just for me, but for everyone who taught them. With classroom management a tough task all the time, this year was particularly overwhelming. I tried to tough it out, but it was more than I could handle. There are times when you have to cut your losses and move on for the good of all – the students and me. In late April, I asked for a medical leave of absence for the rest of the year, and it was approved. My assistant principal was absolutely wonderful through it all. I’m glad his background was in counseling and not PE!
It took a while before the decision I made sank in. Last week, my son made the comment that I was finally starting to act like I actually didn’t have to go back until August. I was cooking more (and you know that’s why he noticed), smiling more, joking more, and getting out of the house more. I’m still working on being able to start something and finish it before stopping to take a mental break.
I’ve been getting grief counseling for about a month, and I think it’s helping. My counselor is helping me learn techniques to deal with the anxiety and stress that have taken over my life. I’m hopeful that by the time I go back to school in the fall I’ll be ready tackle whatever comes my way.