I've resolved that I am going to be healthy, happy, and fit - spiritually and physically. I am journaling a lot, and it is really helping. I'm praying a lot, and it seems to be helping too. I am handling my emotions much better these days. I've grown so much through AA, counseling, and Spark.

Whatever I have inside of me, I am also capable of the opposite. If I have the capability to be dishonest, I also have the capability to be honest. (I've learned a LOT about honesty with others and myself in the past 2 years.) If I have the capability to roll around in self-pity, I also have the capability to be relieved of the bondage of SELF. SO, if I have the capability to wake up every night and EAT, then I have the ability to wake up in the night and GO BACK TO SLEEP.

I actually read the directions for Spark after being a member for HOW LONG NOW?? When all else fails, read the instructions, right?? Surprisingly, the way that Spark suggests identifying the problem, setting a vision (long term goal), coming up with a plan, etc. is REALLY similar to a nursing careplan. My vision sounds like a nursing outcome.... It's stated in an "I will..." instead of "Patient will..." Maybe I should add a timeframe just like in a nursing careplan. Hmm...

My plan for reaching my goals includes reading my resonsibility statements, vision, plan, and goal morning and night as well as anytime I need to day or night. Prayer for release from my bondage of SELF. I need to do for others instead of concentrating on what I'm going to eat next or how my hips look.

My emergency plan for the middle of the night is to:
Read my goals, vision, plan paper.
Lay in bed for 20 min.
Blog or look at Spark message boards.
Read or journal.
Drink a diet Sprite for the sweetness.

I'll report tomorrow how the night went. Wish me luck. Please.