Thursday, May 31, 2012
I dunno, maybe I'm a little too harsh on myself, but I always used to kind of think I could just say I was curvy as a euphemism for fat. I'd always just be like "oh you can't expect me to get back into the 120s, I'm curvy!" or "No way I could ever fit into a size 4, I'm too curvy."
But now that I AM back in the 120's and I AM a size 4, I look at my body and guess what? Yup. Curvy. Not fat (though I mean, I DO still have some extra flub to lose) but legitimately curvy. shapely. Pear-shaped for sure.
It's really strange discovering what your body is like without all that extra fluff. I knew enough not to expect to become Heidi Klum or whatever, but I still kinda thought losing weight would give me a straight body type, or somehow realign my bone structure so that I could have a thigh gap, or SOMETHING. I don't really know how to feel about it, either. "Curvy" is glamorized in the media and all that, and it IS beautiful...on Sofia Vergara. On me? It still looks and feels a little bit too close to "fat".
I can't change my body type, so I'll accept that. And sometimes curvy looks good on me. I'm not trying to be pre-pubescent boy skinny, but yeah, I'd like to be a little less bottom heavy. I still have work to do and progress to make, but I guess now's about the time to start accepting that even losing "that last 10 lbs" isn't gonna fix these tree-trunk thighs, haha.