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    MICHTOTMAN   14,854
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Pity Party


Thursday, May 31, 2012

For all my personal research I have discovered that I have not only a gluten sensitivity and a dairy sensitivity but now soy is out too. Yikes! Just when I got used to reading labels for gluten and dairy/cassien I now have soy to worry about too. I just made it through 5 complete days with no reactions and feeling almost healthy again and then BAM! Somehow I got some sort of cross contamination via packaged food. I'm not sure which one (there are two options) and neither had the evil-three listed as ingredients BUT I know that cross contamination in processing is not uncommon. Yet I took the risk. I've been paying for it since about 1:30am.

I am so mad and frustrated. I'm mad at myself for taking the risk. I'm mad at my body for having not only type 1 diabetes but a host of food allergies as well. I have handled this all so well for the most part but today I just had me a pity party - tears and all. I JUST WANT TO FEEL GOOD. And so a day planned for fun has turned into a day in bed (mostly) forcing myself out to go to 2 appointments that I couldn't break. I'm exhausted (another symptom), nauseous, and cold.

Then, in my pity party, it hits. I don't really miss most of the food that I used to eat. I really don't. But it occurred to me during my bath of self-pity that I will never again eat a good crusty bread dipped in olive oil. Or a slice of cheesecake. And while I've become quite adept at making muffins, cookies, pasta and other special occasion treats, I will never master a GOOD macaroni and cheese that is GFCFSF. Not gonna happen. I actually cried. For the first time in a year and a half since this eating adventure began - I let loose.

Okay - I'm done. I've got about 20 minutes before I crash again and I'd like to get the dinner dishes in the dishwasher before that happens. It was homemade chicken noodle soup with vegetables & quinoa pasta - quite delicious and my kids love it, if I do say so myself.

But it's not cheesecake.
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