Thursday, May 31, 2012
I decided to start June off right.. by not procrastinating and doing it one day before June 1st. I am a little disappointed in myself for the month of May, but I already knew that it might be difficult for me. I felt broken inside. It's time to turn that frown upsidedown!!
I didn't keep any of my goals for May. I will just have to forgive myself for it and move on. I am almost to the 50 pound mark. It's so close I can taste it. Of course, my urge to binge has reappeared with a vengence. My urge to fight it needs to be stronger. I am fighting it right now by blogging, so I guess that is a step in the right direction.
I've decided not to put a number on the amount of pounds I want to lose every week. The one thing I want to do is meet the goal I have set for myself for the SASS challenge. I am still doing Zumba 3 times a week, and I am taking advantage of my 30 day free pass to Curves. I've also been doing the SparkPeople Cardio Blast and Kathy Smith's Latin Rhythm Workout. I can do this.. I WILL DO THIS!!
My main concern is my urge to binge, which is very strong for the first time since I started SP. I can almost feel those demons creeping into my head telling me that I can't do this. The depression seems to be waning, but not the obsessive thoughts. I can honestly say it scares me because I have fought so hard for this. Tomorrow I am going out to buy the book that started me on my way to a healthier, happier me.. Operation Beautiful. I'm going to put those demons back down where they belong.
I am stronger than I was yesterday, tomorrow I will be stronger than I am today. I am determined and I am worth it. I am committed and I will persevere. I am beautiful and I am loved for who I am.