Thursday, May 31, 2012
UPDATE on Be and I..... Ever since "the session" (yes, I have termed it....) we have gotten along sooooo well. I've learned that when he went back to see the counselor by hisself, he apologized to her for bombarding her with all of this "new" information. She told him that *I* was the one he should be apologizing to. Which of course, he did. Like I said before, he did have some legit points and I have been very consious (sp???? damn.) of my reactions to him and my need to "control" things. A strange shift has happened between us. In a good and healthy way, but definitely noticeable. :-)
We have also talked to our counselor about backing off from seeing her as often just a little. Financially it is straining us. We have to be realistic. The AA/NA/Alanon meetings are free and a definite staple for both of us.
We both walk out of there feeling better for many different reasons. You take what you need from those meetings. That's just how it works. And right now that's working for us.
OK, some random stuff.....
My first alcohol-free camping adventure with my family went extremely well!! It got tough a few times but we worked it through. I am very proud of myself and Be. We rock. :-)
My oldest sister and I have talked a couple of times in the past about her drinking habits. She has confided in me that she knows she drinks too much when she does drink. Not an everyday thing, but when her and her husband are out, she always has too much. Wine usually. She had too much to drink one night this weekend and the next day I could see the 'guilt' or the 'shame' or whatever feeling she had on her face. You know, it's crazy because, before, I would've never recognized that look. But I know exactly how she was feeling. Her son made a few snide remarks about it and I could just see it eating away at her. :-( Made me sad. I didn't say anything to her because I didn't want to seem like just because I chose to be alcohol-free, it made me high and mighty or that I had all the answers. You know? I didn't want to come across that way at all. But I did notice.
Yesterday, it has been 4 years since Be's dad passed away. :-( I miss that guy terribly! He was such an awesome man. Be's best friend. Makes me wonder what life would be like if he were still here. *sigh*
My weight loss has really been great lately. While I am thrilled, I am constantly waiting for it to stop again. It's inevidible really. I know that, but I am just loving every minute of it right now! I sooooo want to be at ONEderland by the end of BLC19!!! It's still doable, but really have no room for error. :-) (I bet Terry's going to cringe when she reads this.) :-) I *know* it's just a number, but MAN, I want it. Bad.
I am so full of love for ALL of my Spark friends!! Especially my Azuritas. Wow. I can't even put into words what you girls do for me. You mean more to me than you'll ever know. Thank you.
OK, that was random enough, I believe. :-)
Love to all!