Thursday, May 31, 2012
My self-esteem seems to have plundered back to the bottom of the barrel as of late, however, I am determined to build it back up to where I know it needs to be. After all, it is the tricks and stories of the mind that send it on its roller coaster ride...
I have been spending time in meditation to determine what emotions are blocked within me and have also spent time letting them out...had some anger built up which I screamed out the other day and have been feeling somewhat better...today, I feel like there is more to be released and spent a bit of time in meditation and brought some things out.
I heard this time between the solar eclipse of May 20 and the lunar eclipse to come on June 4th, is a time open to once and for all release all the stuck feelings about the past and love our selves for the magnificent creatures we are. I'm working on this diligently.
Yesterday I was going to split wood but when I looked at my calendar, realized I had an appointment for a massage...that was a nice surprise...I can't believe I wasn't counting down the minutes!! We talked for a while, too, which is always nice...we seem to be going through many of the same emotional things at the same time through much different circumstances. Her perspective is always nice to hear.
We talked about those mind tricks and stories that play out and how we can deal with them in a sane manner.
I'm going to be away from the house the next 3 days as there is all kinds of wedding stuff to do for sons wedding. Tonight the party is coming up to use the house and I'll go stay with a friend. Tomorrow I work then head to the Springs for the rehearsal and will then stay in Pueblo for the night. Wedding is Saturday and I'll stay down there one more night, shop then head back up the mountain on Sunday.
I've been struggling with food lately...went 23 days binge free and am now on Day 3, but last night was a close call. The next few days should be easy though since I won't be home alone and will be out and about...not sure what all I'll be eating but won't have anything around to binge on at my friend's or at the hotel.
I can be sane...if only for today!!
Peace to my Sparkfriends...