Wednesday, May 30, 2012
This weight loss game really sucks. I started out at a size 16...and well on my way on the up and up, I was embarassed to leave the house...it sucked! After having my daughter, I lost about 30 pounds which was really a great feeling. I was in a size 10 which felt fantastic! I stayed around 165 for the longest time. After hitting the gym pretty hard, I got down to 145 and THAT was a great feeling....I got pretty comfy with it.
Stupid me though....ugh, gained like 20 pounds and I was right back up at 165, freakin' hell! It took a reunion for me to kick myself BACK into action. Got down to 139...kind of held there for a while...lost 9 more pounds to get me down to 130 and into a size 4!!!!!
I remember looking at size 16 after trying on my new 4 and thinking....wow...I'm never going there ever again!
But you know what sucks....is that if you don't watch yourself and ALWAYS keep track of what you're eating, you do go back. In the course of 3 months, I packed on about 18 pounds...stupid.
So, now here I am...celebrating (again) being out of 140-land. This really sucks. The only reason I had any motivation to lose anything again was because I want to take my kids swimming this year and not be that "fat mom" on the side who is too scared to jump in the pool with her kids.
You know what else sucks? Self-image! I remember being really content at 145, that is until I saw myself at 130. NOW 145 makes me look at myself in the mirror and say...."ummm, ewwww."
I'm hoping that this time around, now that I know that I really have to watch myself, that I can do it and keep it off. Because, for one....I hate working out to lose weight in the first place...I hate working out to lose weight AGAIN even more so....pisses me off. I swear....I just want to hit my goal and maintain....that's it.